Women often feel unsafe around men; that's something we can agree on. Whether it's because these men cross their boundaries, give unwanted attention, or simply because they're being creepy. There are many ways women deal with being in situations like this, and one of them is fleeing. And that's the focus of today's story -- a woman left a bachelorette party abroad where she felt unsafe around strange men. Sadly, her leaving caused her friend to be needlessly mad at her.
More info: Reddit
What should you do when you feel unsafe at a social gathering while others feel completely OK?
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A woman's friend decided to have her bachelorette party in Italy, but soon, the group found themselves in a sketchy situation
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The woman urged others to leave, and when they didn't, her boyfriend picked her up 4 days earlier than planned
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Later, other group members revealed that the situation got creepy, and the woman was right, even though the friend, whose party it was, was still mad at her for leaving early
The OP’s friend decided to have her bachelorette party in Italy. It also should be noted that this friend likes to drink and party, while the post’s author does it only on special occasions. And this bachelorette party was such an occasion, so she tried her best to be the life of the party on this trip.
One day, the group met some young people who invited them to a party and to stay with them for the night. But the OP wasn’t really up to it. She felt unsafe with these strange men. The bachelorette party’s group, in which a lot of members were quite intoxicated, voted, and, sadly, the post’s author was in the minority. So, they stayed.
Throughout the night, the woman noticed that these men entered the room the women were sleeping in, even though the doors were locked. The OP pretended to be asleep. She felt that they were creepily checking on them. Fortunately, they left without doing anything. From then on, the woman couldn’t fall asleep the whole night.
The next day, the bachelorette group decided to stay longer with these men, as they offered to show them around. The OP didn’t want to spend time with them, as she found them overly friendly, which was creepy. It didn’t help that these men kept making comments about her ethnicity (Korean) and asking her weird questions, like if she was a virgin.
Still, her suspicions weren’t acknowledged in the bachelorette party group. So, the OP talked with her boyfriend, and he came to get her. She left 4 days earlier than planned.
After the rest of the group came back from the trip, they told the woman how creepy and scary the men ended up being, which meant that the OP was right. Yet, the bachelorette friend was mad at the woman for leaving early. This prompted her to come online to ask if she was wrong to leave earlier just because she felt unsafe.
Well, as you could’ve guessed, people online were supportive of the woman’s decision to leave early. She should’ve prioritized her safety in a sketchy situation. And she did. Who knows what could have happened if she didn’t?
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
For a better understanding of women’s safety in social gatherings, Bored Panda reached out to communications coordinator Sienna Feaster from the “Women’s Advocates” organization. She agreed to share her insight about the topic.
Sienna said that if you meet someone at a social gathering who is making unwanted advances, ignoring boundaries, or showing controlling behavior, it can be a sign of them being a walking red flag. “It’s important to trust your instincts if you feel uncomfortable and to have a safety plan in place. This could involve implementing a buddy system, establishing a code word to discreetly signal the need for help to trusted friends, preplanning safe exits from situations, if necessary, or informing trusted friends or family of your whereabouts and itinerary so they can assist if needed.”
- Have a plan;
- Send your location to a trusted person;
- Have self-defense tools;
- Remove yourself from situations you feel are unsafe.
Communications coordinator of "Women's Advocates" also called out two common misconceptions about women’s safety in social settings -- women being always responsible for avoiding danger and that certain behaviors invite harassment or assault. “It's important to challenge these misconceptions and recognize that everyone deserves to feel safe, regardless of their actions or attire.”
Sienna shared what key factors social gathering organizers should implement to create a safe environment for women: “Proactive measures such as implementing clear and enforced boundaries, providing safe transportation options, and promoting bystander intervention.”
Also, in her opinion, fostering a zero-tolerance culture for harassment or discrimination is also important. “It sends a powerful message that everyone's well-being is valued.”
So, what we can take from this story is that women need to be careful in various social gatherings at all times. It's a wicked world, and implementing some safety tips or just trusting your gut in sketchy situations is sometimes the best you can do. As people online said -- safety must be a priority. And we can just hope that one day the friend from the story will understand that her anger at the woman for leaving early was unwarranted.
"Your safety and well-being are key": People online understood the woman's decision to leave early and defended her for it
