Man Asks Partner With OCD To Start Getting Ready 2 Hrs In Advance, Leaves Him When He’s Still Late

Everyone has their quirks, preferences and, yes, difficulties. Living with a romantic partner does tend to create some tension that has to be managed, even if you really do love each other. This is just as true when it comes to mental health. Many couples have stumbled into the realization that you can love someone and still find their behavior very, very annoying.

A man asked the internet for advice about his partner’s OCD, after he would constantly make them late for things. We reached out to the man who made the post via private message and will update the article when he gets back to us.

Just like ADHD, OCD is one of those behavioral disorders that gets often mentioned in media or just online, but is still quite misunderstood. The most prominent and visible part of OCD, as was also seen in this story, is the need to constantly act on “compulsions” which, until handled, cause the person to feel distressed.

Some of the more common compulsions are around things most of us would see as good, in moderation. For example, cleaning your hands (hygienic), checking if the oven is off multiple times (safe) or hoarding (saving things for later.) However, as anyone who has lived with someone like this can attest to, if left unchecked, this can end up being massively detrimental to living.

Hoarding is a great example, with folks living in filth because they just can’t bear the idea of throwing out a newspaper from 1997. It’s important to remember that not everyone with OCD has symptoms this extreme, but it also is an example of what can happen when this condition isn’t managed properly.

The “typical” amount of time “spent” (or wasted, depending on your perspective) on compulsions is about one hour, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. Assuming that the man’s partner in this story also has other compulsions throughout the day, that would make him a pretty normal case.

Fortunately, there are treatments for OCD, starting with the obvious, yet often ignored therapy. Specifically, exposure and response prevention (ERP) is often used for folks who, like this man, struggle with compulsions. In short, the person is exposed to something that tends to trigger their compulsion, be it unwashed hands or impending dinner plans. Exposure to certain stressors can, in time, build resistance.

They are then supposed to, with some guidance and assistance, not act on their compulsion but just move on with their lives. Many specialists suggest this method as it avoids use of medication which comes with the risk of side effects or other complications. Similarly, this “treatment” can be replicated and repeated if the person with OCD develops new compulsions in the future.

There are other treatments as well, which all underline the fact that OCD can be managed. This person’s partner does not seem to have a particularly severe case, but the fact that it seems to be getting worse is cause for concern. Unlike many other mental disorders, the fact that one can measure this man’s OCD down to the minute is at least an easy way to track its progress.

The man does share an update later, which can be found below, and, spoiler alert, it’s mostly positive. Some commenters even suggested that he is a jerk for not intervening earlier, as it’s pretty clear his partner does need help. It's important to note that many neurodivergent people can sometimes struggle to see how their behavior affects others and will not necessarily take the necessary steps to help themselves alone.