Familial bonds will always be stronger than any relationships you’ll have. Therefore, you must try your best to be there for each other in times of need, regardless of significance.
Of course, some people would milk it for all it’s worth, like the woman in today’s story. Not only did she accuse her brother of “abandoning” her son when she was the one who arrived hours late, but she also expected him to drop all prior commitments to adjust to her schedule.
The man was conflicted by what happened and turned to the AITAH Reddit community for answers.
Some relatives can feel entitled because they are family
Image credits: Yashik7777/Envato (not the actual photo)
A man had to leave his nephew with a family friend because her sister/the child’s mother was hours late to pick up the child
Image credits: recstockfootage/Envato (not the actual photo)
The sister then accused him of “abandoning” the child while expecting him to drop all his prior commitments
Image credits: Working_Raccoon417
There is such a thing as genetic relational entitlement
Image credits: JR-50/Envato (not the actual photo)
You’ve likely read our multiple stories about entitlement among family members. Experts call it genetic relational entitlement.
Trauma psychotherapist Amanda Ann Gregory gave examples: A person believes they are owed a relationship or contact because of the genetic connection. Example two is when someone feels entitled to time, money, communication, or services because of the blood relation.
Gregory also points out that the deeper the connection, the greater the sense of entitlement one tends to feel. In this story, the woman may feel more entitled because of the sibling relationship.
We all know the saying, “Blood is thicker than water.” At a young age, we’ve heard the saying, “Family must come first.” According to Gregory, this idea has given people the expectation that relatives must always be available to help or do favors.
“Many people have been taught to place those with similar genetics on a relational pedestal and to expect that others will do the same for them,” she stated.
The woman completely disregarded her brother’s time without saying why she was running late. She also expected him to sacrifice his commitments because family “must come first.”
Setting consequences is necessary when drawing boundaries when it comes to sibling entitlement
Image credits: Prostock-studio/Envato (not the actual photo)
No one wants family drama, and setting boundaries may be necessary when dealing with an entitled sibling. However, drawing that line isn’t enough. Setting consequences is also essential, according to licensed counselor Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick.
As she told Business Insider, boundaries without consequences are “merely a suggestion” of how we want others to treat us. She adds that consequences are more about protecting yourself if the sibling crosses the line again.
Dr. Fedrick also advises clarifying what you don’t feel comfortable about and what you want to see change. Being firm about your statements is likewise necessary when delivering the message.
It may also help to challenge the beliefs about family dynamics that society has ingrained in us. According to Dr. Fedrick, it’s more about recognizing that being a sibling does not entitle anyone to the right to inflict physical, emotional, or psychological pain.
The woman could have shown more consideration for her brother’s commitments. It was the least she could have done to show appreciation for the favor he did.
What do you think? Was the man wrong for leaving the child with a family friend to attend to his commitment?
Many commenters saw nothing wrong with what the author did
Those who faulted him expected him to cancel his plan because it was “just a party”
