Going on trips with your family is a different kind of adventure. You go and explore things together and create extraordinary moments that turn into the most delightful memories. But sometimes, these vacations can turn really sour, especially when you realize that you were just being used for something by the people closest to you.
This Redditor got to first-hand experience how family can use you. His brother and sister-in-law invited him and his wife for a retreat to their parents’ cabin just so that they could look after their three kids. They got annoyed and left them to get their own place.
More info: Reddit
Man and his wife are “invited for a vacation” by his brother, sister-in-law, and three kids to their parents’ cabin
Image credits: master1305 (not the actual photo)
Turns out it was only so they could babysit the kids while the other couple went out and enjoyed their time together
Image credits: Wooden-Intern-6316
Image credits: Jonathan Borba (not the actual photo)
When the poster and his wife decided to go out to enjoy themselves, the other couple was not pleased and said that this was supposed to be a family vacation
Image credits: Wooden-Intern-6316
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
The man called out his brother and his wife for their repeated babysitting demands, but the couple retorted that they expected them to “help out”
Image credits: Wooden-Intern-6316
Finally frustrated, the poster and his wife left and got their own place, but SIL guilt-tripped them, so the man went online and asked for advice
The story began when Reddit user Wooden-Intern-6316 was invited by his brother and sister-in-law to go vacationing. He provided a little context by explaining that his wife quite often looks after his brother’s three-year-old kid during the weeks. And when they “invited” him and his wife for a vacation, it was to go to the cabin that their parents owned, not a paid trip or something like that.
So, the couple said yes, and they all went, taking the brother’s three kids with them, too. On the first night, the brother and sister-in-law wanted to go on a date, so the original poster (OP) and his wife agreed to stay with the kids. But the next day almost a similar scenario greeted them when the couple took their two kids for an activity that the elder kid didn’t want to do. So, they again just left him with OP and his wife. This really annoyed them as they were not able to enjoy anything else apart from babysitting.
Come afternoon, they wanted to go bar hopping, which upset the sister-in-law and she said, “I thought this was a family vacation.” The man thought this was quite hypocritical of her when they had spent all the time doing their own thing and leaving the kids with them. But OP and his wife still went and enjoyed their time out. However, this earned them a snarky retort from the brother in the morning about a hangover even when they didn’t have one.
The next day, they all went to the lake and OP and his wife got drinks. Upon seeing this, the sister-in-law pulled the wife aside and expressed that they shouldn’t be drinking while watching the kids. And that is when the poster finally snapped and confronted the entitled couple. The brother even said that they were the ones who had brought them for the vacation. This must’ve further annoyed the man and he pointed out that it was not paid, rather, they were all there for free.
To this, the brother retorted that they had expected to be “helped out” with the children. That must’ve been the breaking point for OP because he and his wife left and got their own place to stay. But that was not enough, the sister-in-law took them on a guilt trip by sending them pictures of the kids and telling them how sad they were. They even acted all innocent and confused so that the poster and his wife would look like the unreasonable ones. But he justified himself by saying that it was a vacation for them too, and his wife shouldn’t have to do something that she regularly does for them, for free, for that matter!
Image credits: awesomecontent (not the actual photo)
When he asked the Reddit community if he was in the wrong for his actions, they all supported him. Many expressed that he was doing a big favor to his brother and sister-in-law and instead of being grateful, they had the audacity to make them feel guilty and unreasonable. According to Verywell Mind, “Guilt-tripping is often designed to manipulate other people by preying on their emotions and feelings of guilt or responsibility. This can be a form of toxic behavior that can have detrimental effects on a person's well-being as well as their relationships.”
This just makes us see that the couple’s behavior was ruining their relationship with the poster and his wife. Psych Central suggests that if someone guilt-trips you, you have to articulate your boundaries and offer a compromise. Many online peeps pointed out the boundary thing, saying that the man and his wife had to establish one straightaway.
Even the poster agreed to this. He mentioned in a comment that he has been telling his wife that they should cut down on the babysitting but she genuinely enjoys it. This is very nice of her. However, he wants to ensure that she develops boundaries by deciding the particular days with the start and end times that she would babysit those kids.
Stanford University states, “Boundaries help determine what is and is not okay in a relationship–whether that be with friends, partners, or family members. Ideally, we put them in place to protect our well-being. They help us to build trust, safety, and respect in relationships.” And it looks like this might be the healthy solution for OP and his wife. But despite the fact his brother and sister-in-law just used them as babysitters for the vacation, they’re willing to mend things and continue babysitting, which says a lot about how good they are.
A lot of netizens pointed out that as long as the couple doesn’t show respect and gratitude for the “free help” that they are getting, they should stop babysitting. And you must say, it does seem like a valid point. The poster and his wife sound like good Samaritans who are being exploited for their kindness, which Redditors smartly highlighted.
Now, before we jump to the comments from the Redditors, we want to hear from you. Have you, or someone you know, ever experienced something similar? How did you handle the situation? Let us know in the comments.
Redditors jumped to his rescue and advised him to draw boundaries with his brother and SIL’s babysitting demands
