Moving in with someone is a step in a relationship that can severely affect it. For it to work, people have to make compromises. While some of them can be quite minor, others can be way more serious.
That is the main focus of today's story. In it, a woman gets a demand list from her daughter-in-law after she asks her son and his family to move in with her. The list mainly focused on stuff that would put the woman's grandchildren in danger, yet she found it difficult to agree with it.
More info: Reddit
Some people are just too stubborn to admit that the life they created for themselves is far from perfect
Image credits: picjumbo.com (not the actual photo)
A woman asked her son and his family to move in with her, as she struggles with her health
Image credits: Vladyslav Dukhin (not the actual photo)
Her daughter-in-law made an extensive list of demands that needed to be accepted if they were to move in
Image credits: Holly Landkammer (not the actual photo)
The list included things related to her children's safety and felons who live or visit the woman's place
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The woman felt that the list wasn't fair and didn't want to agree with most of the points
The OP’s mother-in-law’s health isn’t in the best condition. For this reason, she asked her son’s family to move in with her so they could help if needed.
Yet, her daughter-in-law, today’s original poster, decided to come up with a list of demands that needed to be accepted in order for them to move in. This list contained things such as getting rid of the dog and criminal relatives, not disciplining grandchildren, and so on. Sounds quite drastic, doesn’t it? Well, the author has her reasons.
One of them is the MIL’s boyfriend, who was dubbed Mason in the story. He is a felon who has plenty of drunk driving charges and was even in prison. Apparently, he is one of the cases in prison who didn’t improve, as the second he got out, he continued drinking.
This alcohol abuse led him to adopt a 5-year-old Rottweiler Mastiff mix (also known as Mastweiler). Due to their hybrid breeding, these dogs can have inconsistent temperaments. And so, it is important to train them so they know how to behave. Mason failed to do that. Now, the dog is very aggressive. So, it is natural that the woman doesn’t want the dog in a place where crawling children live.
Unfortunately, drinking and aggressive pets aren’t the only problems stemming from Mason. The OP explained that he has an old parenting style. From her description, we guess it’s the authoritarian one. It’s based on setting rules and expecting a child to obey them without question. And since Mason tried parenting the woman’s children like that more than once, she banned him from disciplining them ever again.
He also has a relative who was convicted of abusing children and sat in prison for 13 years. Still, Mason likes to hang out with him and says that since this man is in a wheelchair, he’s now harmless. The OP disagrees with this, as, sadly, there are plenty of cases proving that disability doesn’t stop a person from engaging in such sick crimes. So, it’s natural that she doesn’t want a person like that in her home with children.
Image credits: August de Richelieu (not the actual photo)
Yet, the problems related to this man don’t end there. The woman also wants to have her name on the home deed. She doesn’t trust Mason and thinks he might want to kick them out. Plus, she wants neither Mason nor her MIL to make decisions for her and her husband.
The mother-in-law seems to be one of those people who struggles with the fact that her son is a grown adult who can make decisions she doesn’t like. Parents who like to overparent their children this way usually leave them incapable of taking care of themselves and living independently, even when they're adults.
Luckily, it doesn't seem that this is the case, as the man was able to go out and create his own family independently. Yet, it's clear that his mom still doesn't fully trust his decision-making. Well, she will have to get used to it if she wants him to move in with her.
So, when you see the reasons behind the list, it doesn’t seem so bad, does it? Well, the mother-in-law and her problematic boyfriend would disagree. They feel that it infantilizes them, so they tried to manipulate several points, even the one with the criminal relative. Yet, the OP doesn’t plan on budging, even when her sister-in-law called it ridiculous.
In a way, internet users found this situation ridiculous as well. But in a different way to what people in the story thought. They thought that, given the whole context, it was absurd that the woman was even considering moving in. A place with aggressive pets and entitled, criminal people doesn't sound like an environment small children should be growing up in.
Well, seeing how poorly the demand list was met, it's possible that the OP and her family won't be moving. And, just as netizens pointed out, maybe it’s for the best. Figuring out another way how to help the MIL's poor health sounds like a better alternative than living with Mason.
People online thought that considering the dangerous context of the woman's home, the daughter-in-law shouldn't have even considered moving in with small children there
