If "money" and "love" were options in a game like Rock-Paper-Scissors, there's no doubt that "money" would beat "love" in most cases. Unfortunately, the reality of this life is that money can drive a wedge between even the most passionately loving partners.
Well, the user u/IndigoCartwheel, the narrator of our story today, clearly saw this principle at work. His girlfriend developed a habit of borrowing from his personal "cash stash," and when he put a lock on it, it led to a major spat and a cooling of their relationship. However, let's not get ahead of ourselves in this tale.
More info: Reddit
Money questions can lead even the warmest and most passionate relationships to the verge of a breakup, so here’s more proof of this
Image credits: prostock-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author of the post has a common family budget with his girlfriend, but he also has his personal "cash stash" of about some hundreds of dollars
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The man says that his girlfriend has gotten a habit of borrowing money from this box, leaving paper notes instead
Image credits: krakenimages.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author once told her to stop doing so, but she actually didn’t, which drove the man nearly mad
Image credits: IndigoCartwheel
So the author put a small lock on the box, which infuriated the lady, as she dubbed this "humiliating"
The Original poster (OP) and his girlfriend are both in their early 30s, and everything seems to be going quite well for them, but our hero recently began to notice that money has started disappearing from his special "cash stash." No, it's not some kind of doomsday emergency, the man admits - he just puts cash in there so he always has a couple of hundred dollars, for various needs.
No, the woman didn't take money from there behind his back - she regularly left some notes in the box stating how much she took and when she planned to put it back. However, the man soon began to notice that, from time to time, she forgot to return the money, and sometimes notes like "It's basically our money anyway" would appear in the box as well.
The man ended up buying a small lock and putting it on the box. Simply because he wanted to always be sure there was money in the box. But when his girlfriend, looking for her meds in the cabinet, saw the lock on the box, she became incredibly upset and offended. The woman called it humiliating and "parent-child vibes," emphasizing that she hadn't stolen the cash.
The author, in turn, stated that they already had a joint account, and he needed this stash for his own small, urgent needs, so she shouldn't be offended by his actions. However, the lady ended up giving him the cold shoulder since then, and she even moved some of her belongings into the guest room. Now the man is in two minds about whether he was right or wrong in doing it this way.
Image credits: footballadboard / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Experts believe that the key to a healthy understanding and resolution of financial issues in a couple lies in discussion. In other words, if a couple has come to the concept of a joint budget with separate expense items for each partner, then they shouldn't perceive their partner's personal money as their own property either, this article at Mentalzon reasonably claims.
"In a healthy relationship, money is seen as a personal asset," the source says. So financial boundaries are simply another type of personal boundaries, which are necessary for the harmonious development of each person in the relationship. Yes, the author's decision to put a lock on the box may seem quite rude, but his girlfriend was also wrong to regularly take this money.
On the other hand, the man clearly should've asked his girlfriend to stop taking this cash before resorting to any action. This article on the website of the California Department of Financial Protection and Innovation says that any concrete steps regarding family finances should be preceded by discussion. Perhaps this could have helped avoid more serious consequences for the couple.
Many people in the comments were also very divided over this situation. Some folks fully supported the author, stating that he was perfectly within his rights to act this way with his personal cash. Others, however, wrote that doing so was quite rude towards the woman anyway. So what do you, our dear readers, think about this story? Please feel free to share your point of view in the comments.
The commenters were very divided over this situation, but most of them sided with the author, claiming that he was right to do so
