“People Who Got Divorced At 25 Plus Years Of Marriage, What Was The Final Straw?” (51 Answers)

Her morbid obesity. It literally destroyed our intimate life, her ability to travel, her health, and the thought of a future with her. The CPAP machine, having to book 3 seats on a flight for the 2 of us, the empty promises of weight loss only to find candy bar wrappers in the trash, finding yourself looking at class 1 obese people with lust by comparison, having to call hotels/doctors/businesses and verify there was an elevator... and all of it to wind up sitting alone honestly wondering how long they're going to live, how long until they're permanently in the wheel chair because their lifestyle finally caught up to them. it get's EXHAUSTING and at some point you realize its a prison for yourself more than anyone else.

My mother had been using threats of divorce to control my father for years. The last time, to her dismay and great surprise, he accepted.

My dad started standing up for himself after years of walking on egg shells....my mom didn't like that.

I was a consultant that traveled to various cool places, think San Franciso, Vancouver BC, Boston, NYC, and other various places. The company had a policy that if I stayed over the weekend, they would fly my spouse to my location, pay for the hotel and provide a per diem. My ex-wife refused to fly to me. After a few years of sometimes staying places by myself, I knew it was over. I can recall the exact time and place. I was sitting on a grassy hill enjoying a mini-picnic with items I purchased at Granville Island public market. I realized I had had one of the best days ever and had no one to share it with. 27 years of marriage over.

My dad developed an alcohol problem in his 40s and was diagnosed as bipolar. He didn't like how the bipolar meds made him feel, so he wouldn't take them. Their marriage was never especially happy, but my mother told him she would stay IF he totally quit drinking and took his bipolar meds. He did neither. She had divorce papers served on him at work. He was SHOCKED!

He was never an easy man to get along with, but after 35 years of marriage, I asked my mother "Why now?"

She said she wanted a peaceful retirement. I thought that was fair.

He prioritized work so much over the family that when I asked him to take a day off for my grandmother's funeral, he lied to me and told me he did.

Spoiler: he did not.

Later told me he 'did what he had to to get a promotion'

It was the final straw. I left. Id rather be alone than with a non-partner.

Just finalized the divorce a couple months back.

Earbuds.

There were other straws, to be sure, but the final one were her earbuds. She ALWAYS had them in, scrolling facebook and listening to books and just would isolate herself into her own little world. We used to be great at communicating, talking things out and making decisions as a team, but after she got earbuds anytime I wanted to talk with her about anything there was this friction in getting her attention and interrupting whatever it was she had decided was more important that participating in life.

The loneliest point in my life was sitting on the couch next to my wife of 25 years.

My parents split a little before 25 years but technically the divorce wasn't finalized until after....turns out my dad is gay. She had known for a few years but they were staying together until my sister and I were out of high school. .

I've been married for 35 years but my husband's drinking has gotten out of control and I just can't take it anymore. I have to get my affairs in order and initiate a separation. It will likely be messy.

When the 16th cat walked in I walked out.

I was married for 24 years. My ex-wife was manipulative, had to be in the center of attention and constantly lied. There was drama constantly. For me the final straw game when she called the police several times when she didn’t get her way. The embarrassment of the neighbors watching as the police came to the front door was the last straw for me.

My parents divorced after 26 years of growing into very different people. They got married because my mom was pregnant with my brother. They built a life together, and were good parents to us and co-parents with each other, and I there was a lot of love there.

But my parents were always very different people. My dad is Mr Social Butterfly, and my mom loves a quiet evening at home. By the time I was in my teens, they were living entirely separate lives. They didn’t even watch the same TV shows. By the time they realized how far apart they had drifted, it was too late to fix it. They’re both a lot happier now, remarried, living exactly the kind of lives they wanted to live but weren’t able to while trying to balance the other’s lifestyle.

Realisation that we were co-workers. we actually didn’t like each other very much, we’d just been assigned to the same team and focused on project delivery (raising the kids). You know that person at work that you can tolerate in small doses as long as you’re talking about work but you’ve got nothing in common, different values and you’d never hang out together outside of work? Don’t be married to that person.

My life is now infinitely better.

My dad had surgery and was later also diagnosed with dementia. His mind was pretty lost (in my eyes) . He told my mom who he had been with 40 years that he was moving out. He allowed his children from a previous marriage to treat her awfully . They went into their house to pack his clothes and threw stuff everywhere. My sister and niece had been paying utilities so he switched them all to his new apt, the money was going on hia account. My moms lights, and gas cut off. We had to get it turned back on. We moved her out to a nice suburban apt.


I cut that man off so fast . He also slept with a woman from our old church.

Yet when he was breathing his last breaths, he called mom. She convinced me to visit him in the nursing home. I began going on Sunday mornings 9 a.m with coffee and donuts. Sometimes he knew who I was Sometimes he didnt. But id sit there and then leave to go to church.

My mom's life is flourishing. We take her on trips. She has a friend group in her apt building.

My husband, after getting epilepsy and then diabetes became an angry violent person who spent every waking hour denigrating me! He finally physically attacked me. I drove away!
I’m very happy with my private single life. I have incredible friends and family. I’m very lucky.

Divorced at the 25 year mark.

I actually don't have a clear idea of what happened. I had a couple of emergency health issues with hospitalization. My partner responded by being surprisingly absent. When I build up the courage to ask into it, I was met with anger and frustration over "my needs for attention" following the health crisis.

I thought long and hard about it, suggest more conversations and therapy, but that was met with more conflict. I realized that I cannot be in a partnership with someone who bails if there is an emergency. Especially as we grow older. It got really lonely all of a sudden and that is not what I think a marriage and partnership should be or feel like. It was a really tough realization and even tougher decision. The grief is devastating and I miss them daily.

I'm so much better today. My health is under control and my life is less stressful from not having to fix a relationship.

I'm ready to leave after two decades now. He's in therapy, taking meds, etc. He's doing better in a lot of ways, but intimacy just seems to be the one thing he won't work on for us. I'm intensely lonely, this just can't be the rest of my life.

Blowing our saving in secret and cheating in my face just to hurt my feelings and laughing at me. Now he's busted financially chasing his vices. I'm im a 1 bedroom apt with a dog and being frugal. Wonder who is winning? I spent more than half my life trying to make it work with that MF.

We've had 3 of these in the family in the last 10 years.

One couple (my parents) was because he had clutter blindness and would leave things everywhere, which wasn't fair ever but became an issue as they agreed. In her case, she already hated housekeeping so she wasn't willing to continue to manage the extra work when her body's aging made the work much harder. They divorced, he got a smaller place and hired a cleaning person, and they remained best friends.

The other, my brother, was incredibly fun, romantic, and a great provider but rarely completed things when he said he would and was pretty verbally unkind when drunk. He developed cancer and then chose alcoholism. She tolerated the verbal violence when it was rare throughout their marriage, but when it became all day, she left. We learned that it's pretty common apparently. She's stand by him with cancer, but not being a jerk and blaming cancer.

Finally, my sister found out he was sleeping with a student. She tolerated his indifference, assumed affairs, and poor money management for 25 years. But a student was an ethical line she wouldn't allow. Of note, it was the fastest divorce ever-- the court was as offended as the rest of us.

My wife's grandparents split in their 90s after 60+ years together. Everyone thought it was bonkers.

Turns out her Gran had lost some mental clarity and was manipulated by one of her sons to get a divorce so he could siphon money from her (half of everything, properties sold etc). Really ugly and toxic family situation.