So I married my husband after being friends from afar for 6 years. Mainly because I wanted to be loved and I didn't want to live with my mom again. Anyways I move in we live across the ocean from all family. He's in the navy. For months he nitpicks all the things I do. My cooking is bad, I'm terrible with finances so I don't deserve money. I'm fat, (I recently ran an 8k under an hour) I'm apparently lazy, etc. Frequently he would lock me out of my room, yell at me throw things at me. Basically any time I asked for anything or time I would get yelled at, things would get thrown at me. Recently he got mad at me because I wanted him to look at me while I was talking. We got into a physical argument and he dragged me down the hall and a few stairs, he hit me and kicked me. (He's 220lbs I'm 125 mostly muscle). We've been separated. Since we Separated (MPO).he's been posting all kinds of weird stuff. Apparently I'm the love of his life or "any tips and pointers for a divorce" " I'll do anything to get her back" . I'm just so confused about everything. How could someone verbally harass me for months, ignore me, treat me badly in front of our volunteer group which I'm more involved then he is, then hit me and drag me because I just wanted attention. Now I find out he's supposed to be giving me money for food etc thanks to the navy which he hasn't for the majority of our marriage. I would have to beg him when it was time to go food shopping. Apparently I'm a greedy bitch and privileged and spoiled because I get anything I want. Which isn't true because I have to beg him for stuff. (Apparently I'm irresponsible) I get a job but he gets mad that I got a job. I got let go because they weren't needing my area of expertise anymore so he gets mad at me. Now I'm just so stressed out and confused. He has a friend who's threatening me to remove the mpo and harassing me about what a monster I am by not allowing him home.
For 6 years he was a good friend but after two years he's a monster. Am I doing the right thing by leaving? Do people change? What am I supposed to do?
#1
LEAVE HIM!! He was charming from a distance, but he showed his true self when you were married. His abuse is inexcusable. You deserve to feel safe and be treated with gentle kindness. Don't let your husband or his friend gaslight you. Keep the MPO in place until the divorce is final. Then move far away from him. I don't know what the home situation with your mother and relatives is, but your marriage is a dark chapter of your life that needs to be closed.
-1point