It's an old saying that mothers and grandmothers know best in the kitchen. They've had years of experience, have their signature dishes, and could execute them with their eyes closed. Admittedly, some might have some questionable cooking tactics.
Like this MIL, who had a very particular way of making goulash and was micromanaging her SIL in the kitchen. Fed up with the controlling behavior, the guy decided to follow her strange request of putting pig fat that had gone bad in the dish. He then shared this story online to illustrate that sometimes ridiculous requests require equally ridiculous revenge.
The son-in-law in question, the user u/Itchthatneedsscratch, kindly agreed to have a chat with Bored Panda. He told us the reasoning behind sharing this story online, what the relationship with the MIL was like before this, and what we could all learn from this about dealing with difficult people. Read our conversation below!
It's often hard to get in you're mother-in-law's good graces, and it might be even harder when there's cooking involved
Image credits: AboutImages / envato (not the actual photo)
This SIL stopped trying after the MIL wouldn't stop micromanaging him and followed her questionable directions
Image credits: Juan Pablo Serrano / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Peter G Werner / wikipedia (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Itchthatneedsscratch
Getting petty revenge on difficult people requires time and patience, the author believes
"A lot of people struggle with their MIL or any other person in their lives," the author told Bored Panda in an interview. "No matter how nice you are trying to be with that person, expecting the same manner in return, it ends up backfiring, and [in] the end, you always have to swallow some insults or bad behavior from them."
The Redditor tells us that's why he decided to share this story with others: dealing with difficult people always comes with a silver lining. "This story is [a] reminder that you only have to be patient, and the chance for revenge will, inevitably, wrap its hands around you," u/Itchthatneedsscratch believes.
As for the infamous goulash, it's still sitting in the MIL's freezer in a plastic ice cream container. At this point, neither party will probably throw it away out of principle. Still, it acts as a pretty poignant symbol of pride: for the MIL, it's about having things done her own way. For the couple, it's probably about the ridiculousness of the whole situation.
The couple decided to stay with their mother-in-law because it would be cheaper while renovations at their home took place
Image credits:Stephanie Ho / pexels (not the actual photo)
The author and his fiancée have been together for seven years now. The Redditor tells Bored Panda that they visit the mother-in-law every six to nine months, but they usually only stay for a few days.
"In those few days, my MIL managed to handle herself, minimizing her bad behavior," he adds. "I could always[s] see through her fake wall that she built up because my fiancée told me about how my MIL made her life miserable while growing up."
"My MIL is an energy vampire, and she's never satisfied with anything," he points out. "Like in the case of cooking, the only food that she likes is [what] she prepares. Our house is being renovated, and we were planning to rent out one of my [colleague's] apartments for a few weeks until it's finished, but my MIL insisted we stay in her house."
The son-in-law agreed for two reasons: "[Firstly], I saw this as a good chance for my fiancèe to reconnect with her mother after all these years of barely seeing each other more than a few days."
"[Secondly], we had a huge expense already, paying for the whole renovation, and even after it's finished, there will be a lot of extra work and money I will have to put in myself to make that house the way we imagined our dream home [to] look like."
"So, in a nutshell, I wanted to save some money. [In] the end, it turned out that she only insisted that we go to her house because she was afraid that we [would] move to her ex-husband's house, aka my fiancèe's father's house, but that is totally paranoid and stupid thinking since my FIL lives on another continent!"
Ultimately, the author believes that the MIL's behavior is about her and her demons, not about him and his fiancée
Perhaps many commenters were right when they pointed out that guests really are like fish: it gets harder and harder to tolerate them as days go by. At least, it seems that's how the mother felt.
"We moved in, and after a couple of days, she couldn't act anymore," the author says. "The mask came off, and she started to be meaner and nastier with us. As I'm writing this, we are still at her house, but I called up the renovation firm, and I pushed the 'MIL alert' button."
"The boss swore to look into things and maybe finish the inside of our house somewhere [during] next week, and we will finally be able to move back. They will only have things to do outside. It will be loud and noisy, but anything is better than staying a couple of weeks more here," u/Itchthatneedsscratch insists.
He says that the whole experience has been the hardest on his fiancée. "She wasn't too happy about it, but she agreed too, given [the] reasons to move there. [In] the end, it wasn't worth it. My MIL's behavior affects her much more. All her childhood traumas come up again. Even in the present, she has monthly sessions with her psychologist about her past with her mother."
u/Itchthatneedsscratch tells us that the biggest lesson in all the experiences dealing with the difficult MIL has been learning to be empathetic toward people like her. "We must try to understand that when a person acts like this, it is rarely really personal and that the real problem those persons have is with themselves."
"Maybe it's their inner child that is hurting or maybe the weight of some problems. In any case, although those people are not responsible for their problems, they are responsible [for solving] them and [accepting and dealing] with their own demons."
"In my MIL's case, we tried talking with her about the things she does, but she is just unable to accept that she has problems. She thinks that she's 100% good, and we are just inventing things and plotting against her. She interprets [any] advice as attacks."
People ridiculed the MIL, and the author provided more context in the comments
