Few things are more eye-roll-worthy than someone who loves making jokes at everyone else’s expense, but can’t handle it when the tables turn. Suddenly, they’re offended and apparently you’ve gone too far.
One woman was mortified when her boyfriend decided to make fun of her leg hair in front of his friends. So she gave him a taste of his own medicine and teased him about his bald spot. That did not go over nearly as well. Read the full story below.
The man had no problem making fun of his girlfriend’s body hair in front of his friends
But when she retaliated with a joke about his bald spot, he was far less amused
There’s nothing wrong with teasing your partner, as long as it’s something you both enjoy
Humor is one of the most important parts of any relationship. But there’s a big difference between laughing with your partner and laughing at them.
One is harmless and uplifting. The other can ruin someone’s mood like nothing else if it hits a little too close to home. And who wants to be on the receiving end of that?
Unsurprisingly, plenty of research backs this up. For example, University of Kansas researcher Jeffrey Hall reviewed 39 studies involving more than 15,000 people and found that positive humor was linked with greater relationship satisfaction.
More aggressive humor, including jokes that attack a partner or create distance, tended to have the opposite effect.
Of course, that doesn’t mean banter has no place in a relationship. One study suggests that playful teasing can actually help people bond when it goes both ways. The trouble starts when one person is always dishing it out and the other is expected to just take it.
Her boyfriend, however, clearly was happy to joke about her as long as she didn’t do the same to him. He had no problem making fun of her leg hair in front of their friends, even though he knew she was insecure about it. Yet once she mentioned his bald spot, suddenly the whole thing had gone too far.
People who keep making jokes at someone else’s expense often do it because it makes them feel more powerful
The reason some people love making cruel jokes at someone else’s expense may have a lot to do with control. According to Psychology Today, humor can sometimes be used to establish dominance and test how much another person will put up with.
It is a very convenient tactic because it comes with a built-in defense. If the other person says they were hurt, you can simply say, “It was just a joke,” or accuse them of being too sensitive.
No matter how they respond, you still get to paint yourself as the reasonable one and make their reaction seem completely unjustified.
That’s probably why the boyfriend immediately got so triggered when the woman fired right back. The moment she turned the joke on him, he was no longer the one in control of the situation. He couldn’t really call her too sensitive, because she had just done the exact same thing he did.
In a healthy relationship, a loving partner should take you seriously when you say they did something that hurt you. As divorce coach Sara Davison told Psychologies, “You should be able to say, ‘That upset me,’ without it turning into an attack.”
Unfortunately, when the couple later tried to talk things through, he still seemed more concerned with getting an apology than acknowledging what he had done. Thankfully, the woman had enough self-respect to realize she didn’t want to keep putting up with that.
Do you agree with how she handled it? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Some readers felt the woman’s reaction was completely fair
But others thought they both went a bit too far
