"I Just Will Not Raise This Baby": Woman Asks If She's A Jerk For Kicking Out Her Unemployed Pregnant Teen Daughter

Most people like to think that there’s always a ‘best’ solution to every single problem. However, there are some situations that are so complex, there’s usually no clear answer—only the choice between similarly bad outcomes. When you’re pressed with a huge dilemma, it’s worth it to try and talk to your family and friends about it. But sometimes, you feel so emotionally close to the situation that you need to take a step back and let the internet figure it out.

That’s exactly what one redditor did. The woman asked the AITA community for advice about an intense situation that was happening in her home at the time. Her daughter, who was 17 years old back then, was pregnant. However, the OP, who had recently retired, didn’t want to essentially be the baby’s mother while her daughter went off to work. The author had already raised her kids and wasn’t planning on spending her retirement years doing the same thing all over again.

So she told her daughter that she has until she gives birth to find another place to live. The AITA community reacted in a very unusual way this time around. Scroll down for the full story and the reactions, Pandas. And if you’d like to share your opinion about all of this, make sure to leave a comment at the bottom of the post.

Labor and Delivery Nurse Holly D., from the US, was kind enough to share her thoughts about how to help teens stay calm throughout the entire pregnancy with Bored Panda. She told us that she has personally helped women with teen pregnancy and delivery.

"One thing I notice with teen pregnancy is most don’t know what to ask so I’ve learned to map out their experience. Basically, give them an idea of what is to come next in a series of steps, Labor and Delivery Nurse Holly shared with Bored Panda.

Honesty and staying grounded are key. "I’m honest and realistic with what could happen," the healthcare professional said.

"It's important as a Labor and Delivery Nurse we understand the developmental stage of the patient and educate medically within that developmental age group," she explained.

"They may need things to go slower, so as a nurse procedures such as IV PLACEMENT or fetal monitoring placement may need to be walked through or taken slower if safety is not an issue."

L&D Nurse Holly told Bored Panda that pregnant teens should know that when the time comes to give birth, their team of nurses and doctors will be there for you.

"We are trained to walk you through the whole labor and delivery experience, with intentions of making it 'not so scary.' Any questions you might have, ask. Nurses are there to support you, as well as keep you and the baby safe. We are there to advocate your wants and needs."

The OP explained how her teenage daughter wasn’t in a relationship with the father, and how “practically every adult in her life” told her that she shouldn’t continue with the pregnancy. However, the teenager decided that she was keeping the baby.

However, that led to a whole plethora of other issues that needed to be solved. Where would the teen mom live? What would she do to get by? Well, she decided that she’d get a job after giving birth. But that meant that somebody would have to stay at home and take care of the baby. And the OP wasn’t going to do that: “Absolutely not, I'm not raising another baby.”

According to the author of the viral AITA post, after the conversation with her daughter, she came to believe that “if she has this baby in this house, I'm practically going to be its mother.” However, she was still having some doubts about asking the mom-to-be to move out, so she turned to the internet for advice.

Somewhat surprisingly, the AITA community’s verdict was, overwhelmingly, that there were no jerks here (aka NAH) in this story.

Raising a child can seem like a daunting task to some parents-to-be. So it’s important to remember what to focus on. Recently, Bored Panda spoke about parenting with single mom and talented creative Ariane Sherine, who’s raising an 11-year-old daughter. She said that, in her opinion, parenting is very hard work, but that it’s “so worth it.”

"She's adorable, kind, fun, hilarious, smart, talented and thoughtful and she teaches me new things every day. It wasn't easy leaving her dad and becoming a single mum when she was 17 months old, but it was necessary for my happiness and for my daughter's stability, and my love for her got us through it. Being a mum has improved my life immeasurably and taught me to put another person first and think of their needs before my own," she opened up to us.

"She was a difficult toddler who would have giant meltdowns in the supermarket. She was also very active and wanted to walk everywhere (and swing on bars and somersault on railings!) which for a sedentary parent was exhausting. She was incredibly curious, and walking anywhere would take forever as she had to examine every leaf and flower by the roadside and collect all the pebbles and sticks (and if I didn't let her, she would scream and scream!). But that phase came and went and now I have a wonderful eleven-year-old who is my whole world,” Ariane told us.

According to the mom, what’s essential to being a good parent is actually wanting to have the child. “If you don't love the thought of being a mum or dad, you're likely to resent having to put your children first. Secondly, that love for them is what powers you through the difficult times—and there will be difficult times. So do it because you know your life wouldn't be complete if you don't,” she said.

"Plenty of people are very happy and fulfilled without being parents. It just so happens that I wouldn't have been one of them, but that doesn't mean it's not a perfectly valid life choice,” the mom noted that whether or not to be a parent is a very subjective decision.

"Your kid will probably grow out of whatever behavior they're displaying now. The first four years are the most difficult. But at age 4, they go to school, and then you get your life back a bit, for at least six hours a day. See if you can get some help each week, whether that's grandparents doing a bit of childcare or paying a childminder. Use the extra time to exercise self-care and pamper yourself, whether that means having a massage or just a soak in the bath—do things you wouldn't be able to do while looking after your child."