Promising someone that you’ll donate one of your organs to them is a huge deal. It’s a massive commitment. And you might feel conflicted about that promise if your life circumstances drastically change.
That’s what happened to one man, who turned to the AITA online community for honest advice. He shared how he was seriously considering backing out of donating his kidney to his fiancée’s brother after he learned about his partner’s true feelings for her ex. Scroll down to read the full story and an update from the author himself.
Deciding to donate an organ to someone in need is a noble thing, but circumstances can change drastically
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This man revealed why he was seriously considering backing out of his promise to donate his kidney
Image credits:Alena Darmel (not the actual photo)
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Chronic dishonesty is a huge relationship red flag
It’s painful to learn that your long-term partner still has feelings for their ex-partner. It might be even worse to find out that they’re only with you because you’re rationally “the better choice” as a significant other, despite them not reciprocating your feelings. It could make anyone question their self-esteem and sense of self-worth.
Spotting relationship red flags isn’t always easy, especially if you love the person and are willing to forgive some of their egregious behavior. And yet, if you ignore all the issues that consistently pop up, the future of your romantic relationship might not be as happy and healthy as you might wish for.
One major relationship red flag is dishonesty. While everyone lies to a certain extent, it’s worrying if your significant other habitually lies about, for instance, what they’re doing, who they’re meeting, who they’re texting, and what they’re feeling.
“Sometimes, harmless ‘white lies’ might be told to save someone’s feelings or to make yourself look great on a first date (though there are often better ways to handle these situations). These lies don't necessarily signify doom for your relationship,” WebMD explains.
“Chronic lying is different as it shows a lack of respect and trust. If your partner seems to skirt around the truth, hide large parts of their life from you, or refuse to make your relationship public, these are big red flags.”
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If you constantly have to question whether your partner loves you, your relationship is in trouble
Another sign that your significant other might not be the right fit for you is if they’re emotionally immature when it comes to handling conflict. For instance, it’s problematic if you simply can’t talk things out when you run into a disagreement.
Some minor signs of emotional immaturity include your partner not taking responsibility for their actions, giving you the ‘silent treatment’ when they’re mad, and making inappropriate jokes instead of having a discussion. On the other hand, major signs of immaturity include them belittling you, calling you names, and lashing out.
Meanwhile, over-the-top anger is another significant red flag, as is the desire to control you and an inability to recognize and respect your boundaries.
Broadly speaking, in a healthy relationship, you should feel free to be yourself, have relationships outside of your romantic one, and have your partner support your goals and dreams.
However, it’s an issue if you frequently question whether your significant other likes or loves you, if they disrespect your boundaries, and if you feel a strong need to please them no matter what.
What do you think, Pandas? Have you ever considered donating your kidney to someone in need? At what point would you break that promise? Would you have done anything differently if you were in the man’s shoes? Let us know what you think in the comments down below!
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The internet had mixed reactions about what happened. Here are a few people's perspectives on the emotionally messy situation
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Later, the man posted an important update about the donation and his relationship
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Not everyone was thrilled with the update. Here's how some folks reacted to it
