Flirting is a delicate dance. It can be perceived as flattering, creepy, annoying or completely inappropriate, depending on the context. And because every attempt to flirt may not be reciprocated, it’s important to know when to back off.
After one pushy man did not get the hint that this woman wasn't interested, she decided to maliciously comply with his request to flirt back. Below, you’ll find the full story that she recently shared on Reddit, as well as some of the responses amused readers left.
This woman was simply trying to do her job when a man decided it was the perfect time to flirt with her
Image credits: Prostock-studio (not the actual photo)
But when he refused to take a hint that she wasn't interested, she played along in the most brilliant way
Image credits: Prostock-studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: SpaceKnightLife
It's important not to judge a book by its cover
To learn more about this situation, we reached out to the Reddit user who shared this story online, SpaceKnightLife. As far as what inspired her to post this story, she told Bored Panda that she loves Reddit and thought this would be a fun anecdote to share.
We were also curious if this was the first time the OP had found herself in a situation like this. "Normally, they just see my face and it clues them in," she said. "This guy, I remember, was persistent." She noted that this was the first time she pulled out the deep voice trick.
But unfortunately, she's confident that this man did not learn his lesson from this experience. "All I did was make him ask the question, 'Do you have a [penis]?' before asking any girl out... Okay thinking about it, that’s hilarious," SpaceKnightLife shared.
Finally, the OP wanted to remind readers not to judge a book by its cover. "Some girls may have [penises], have had [penises], or my personal favorite has a gun," she shared with a laugh.
Unfortunately, being catcalled is an extremely common experience for women
There’s a time and place for when flirting is appropriate. You might welcome an advance if you’re in a bar in the evening and you’re interested in meeting some new people, but it’s a very different story while you’re on the job. It’s also important for whoever initiates the flirting to do so in an appropriate way, without making the other party uncomfortable.
You might not have any idea if someone else is interested until you shoot your shot, but if they don’t take the bait, it’s important to respectfully take a hint. Whereas in this particular story, it seems that the man felt entitled to approach this woman and speak to her inappropriately, regardless of how she reacted.
Unfortunately, catcalling is an incredibly common behavior. According to a survey by Stop Street Harassment, over 99% percent of female respondents said they had experienced street harassment before, including catcalling, and nearly 81% report being the targets of sexually explicit comments from men they didn’t know. And sadly, catcalling often doesn’t just stop at inappropriate words.
Garbo reports that nearly a quarter of all women who have been catcalled said that their harassers also inappropriately touched them, and 20% reported that their catcallers followed them. In fact, 65% of women note that they’re harassed on a monthly basis. So while the woman in this story decided to respond in a brilliant and hilarious way, the fact that women have to deal with this kind of treatment is no laughing matter.
Image credits: abcnews
Trans women in particular are disproportionately targeted by perpetrators of harassment and violent crime
While the man who decided to make explicit comments towards the OP in this story had no way of knowing that she was trans prior to her pointing it out to him, it’s important to note that transgender people are disproportionately targeted by perpetrators of violent crime.
According to a study conducted by the Williams Institute at UCLA, trans individuals are over four times more likely than cisgender people to be victims of violent crime. And the fear that this instills in the trans community can have devastating effects on the mental health of many trans individuals. “Research has shown that experiences of victimization are related to low well-being, including suicide thoughts and attempts,” author of the study, Ilan H. Meyer, writes.
Clearly, the man in this story was very attracted to this woman, until he either realized that she was trans, or simply saw her exhibiting signs of masculinity by displaying a deep voice. The woman’s plan worked to get him to back off, but rather than respectfully leaving her alone because she was not interested, he likely ran off because he was uncomfortable with the idea of being attracted to a trans woman.
However, some men choose to respond to similar situations in a much more violent, and sometimes even fatal, way. In 2020, at least 44 transgender or non-gender conforming individuals were murdered, and there is even something referred to as “trans panic,” or the defense that straight men use in court to explain why they murdered trans individuals.
Image credits: Alec Perkins (not the actual photo)
Many straight men exclude trans women from the dating pool, due to their own biases
And when it comes to dating, many straight men write trans women off completely. One 2018 study found that only 3.3% of straight men are open to the idea of dating trans women.
Zhana Vrangalova at Them explains that, “the high rates of trans exclusion from potential dating pools are undoubtedly due in part to cisnormativity, cissexism, and transphobia — all of which lead to lack of knowledge about transgender people and their bodies, discomfort with these unknowns, and fear of being discriminated against by proxy of one’s romantic partner. It is also possible that at least some of the trans exclusion is due to the fact that for some people, sexual orientation might be not (just) about a partner’s gender identity, but attraction to specific body types and/or judgment of reproductive capabilities.”
While it’s nice that this woman was seen as any other woman, it’s frustrating that men feel they can say such vulgar things to women they are supposedly interested in. We would love to hear your thoughts on this story in the comments below, pandas. What did you think of this woman’s brilliant reaction to being catcalled? And then, if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda article discussing women being catcalled in public, look no further than right here.
Image credits: Josh Willink (not the actual photo)
Amused readers applauded the woman for her brilliant response, while some even shared similar stories of teaching pushy men lessons
