Man Expects Date To Make Up For The Time He Wasn’t Working, Won’t Let Her Leave Until She Does

The answer to “who pays on a date” is generally now left up to each couple individually. However, some enterprising (or just downright cheap) individuals have now decided that they should be compensated not just for their time, but for whatever opportunities they gave up just to hang out.

A woman turned to the internet to share her story of an absolutely horrible date who, after eight hours together, decided to “charge” her for the time he could have spent driving for Uber. We reached out to the woman who made the post via private message and will update the article when she gets back to us.

“Who pays” is one of those dating questions without a clear answer. Some instinctively turn to gender roles, others might believe that 50/50 is always the correct answer. Similarly questions of income also obfuscate this issue, as most folks wouldn’t exactly expect the person with the lower income to pay for the other one.

However, this might be one of those rare times when a person decides to charge their date not for what “happened” but for what didn’t, something economists call “opportunity cost.” When making a business decision, one is generally picking from a variety of options, with different possible outcomes.

By pursuing, for example, option A, you are missing out on option B. Given that this is a (mostly) business related term, the gap between the options, the “cost” is mostly measured in money. A very money-minded person could, conceivable, apply this principle to normal activities like hanging out with friends.

After all, every hour you spend, say, watching a movie or having brunch is one you aren’t working. This sounds like a horrible way to live, and yet this story demonstrates that there truly are people who think this way. Setting aside the fact that it’s pretty cold-blooded to set literal prices on people, humans also need rest and socialization.

There are folks who truly do try to work every single waking hour, forgoing any and all free time, however, in the vast majority of cases, this leads to burnout fairly quickly. It will also destroy one’s relationships, since, generally, people like it when their friends, family or partners actually make an effort to be around.

That being said, in this story, it would appear that this man is less of a cold, calculating entrepreneur, but just a greedy person who realized he could bully someone. The methods she describes are not too far from a robbery. This was not a business transaction, he was not entitled to her money and used coercion to take it.

This is mostly likely why many readers suggested reaching out to the police. He very literally took her money. Any talk of “I couldn’t drive for Uber today” is just that, talk. An excuse to cover up what amounted to a robbery. She was right to heed commenters advice and block this man. Indeed, there might even be an argument for calling the cops on the spot when he tried to stop her from leaving.

Similarly, getting him fired and filing a police report can go a long way. After all, there is a reasonable chance he has done this before and would probably plan to do it again. If someone else has already filed a report, it will be a lot harder for the police to ignore it. Given that he never even texted her back, it appears that he had already gotten everything he wanted from the “relationship.”

It’s not entirely inconceivable that someone might want to be compensated for their time, but this is on a whole other level. So in this case, it’s probably safe enough to assume that it’s not a question of “who pays” in a relationship, but just a predator using casual dating and fear to make some money on the side.