Some things are fundamental if you want to get along with your relatives. Things like respect for each other’s boundaries and the willingness to accept ‘no’ for an answer are crucial. Yes, family members are meant to help each other. However, there’s a limit to charity. You’re not entitled to limitless generosity just because you think you are.
Redditor u/This-Net-7520 turned to the AITAH community for help after a small misunderstanding blew up into a massive family drama. The man shared how he decided to let his son’s ex-wife and her child vacation at his home because they were already stretched enough as it was. However, the backlash he got for this decision was enormous. Scroll down for the full story, including a follow-up post from the internet user. Bored Panda has reached out to the author for further comment, and we’ll update the article once we hear back from him.
It can hurt to realize that some of your closest loved ones don't quite respect your boundaries and have issues with entitlement
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
An older gentleman asked the internet for advice after his son's major meltdown when he wouldn't let his ex vacation in his home
Image credits: mart production / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: This-Net-7520
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Over-the-top entitlement can do a lot of real harm to your closest relationships
Kindness, generosity, charity… these are all virtues that everyone should embrace. However, being charitable doesn’t require you to actively go against your best interests.
Sometimes, you have different priorities you have to honor. For instance, if your spouse is ill and you want to protect them from additional stress, then naturally, you’ll want to limit the amount of chaos in your home. And that might mean saying ‘no’ to hosting folks that you normally get along with fairly well.
The fact of the matter is, asking someone to stay at a hotel or an Airbnb isn’t the end of the world. These are very viable, simple alternatives to staying at a relative's or friend’s home.
Someone reacting with outrage to these polite, common-sense suggestions is a bit of a red flag. It suggests that the people furious at being asked to spend money for their room and board might have issues with entitlement.
Entitlement mentality is a narcissistic personality trait. As per WebMD, it mainly revolves around one core idea: “You owe me.”
In a nutshell, an entitled individual believes that they deserve special treatment and favors, even though they haven’t done anything to warrant it. A few main factors influence a person’s sense of entitlement, including the environment they grew up in, how their parents treated them, whether grown-ups solved their problems, and how authority figures treated them.
While entitlement can give someone a boost to their confidence and self-esteem, it can throw a wrench into their relationships, too. Entitlement and unmet expectations can lead to:
- More conflicts
- Unhappiness
- Disappointment
- Depression
- Dissatisfaction
- Anger
- Distress
Image credits: Vitaly Gariev / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
If you realize that you have a real problem with entitlement, there are lots of small steps that you can take to become more mature
The antidote to this is shifting your perspective and embracing a more humble, considerate, and responsible mindset, full of gratitude for the people and things that you already have in life.
Stepping away from your interests for a moment and, for example, volunteering and giving your time and energy without expectations can really help you empathize with other people more.
What also helps you grow and mature is to understand that nobody is entitled to anything. Life can often seem unfair… and it is.
So, your job is to make the best of your situation with what you have, instead of whining about what you deserve, Verywell Mind notes.
It’s also helpful to understand that there is a vast difference between your wants and your needs. Focus on the essentials first, not the optionals.
What are your thoughts, dear Pandas? What would you have in the story author’s shoes if your adult child threw a massive fit over not getting their way? How would you have handled the entire situation? How do you push back against entitlement in your family? Let us know in the comments below!
Most readers were on the older man's side. Here's how they saw the emotional family situation:
Later, after gently chatting with his son's ex, the man shared an update. There was massive emotional fallout
Image credits: Ivan Samkov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: This-Net-7520
Many readers were utterly shocked after they read the follow-up post from the author. Here's their perspective
