We all know that the dating scene is absolutely brutal nowadays. It’s extremely hard to meet anyone in person, but if your online profile isn’t perfectly curated, you might not get any right swipes. And the more you reveal about yourself, the more opportunities potential partners have to decide that they’ve spotted a red flag.
That’s why people tend not to put all their cards on the table on the first date. But there’s a big difference between keeping some things private and lying by omission. This man was shocked when he found out that his girlfriend of two months was a mother. Below, you’ll find the full story that he shared on Reddit, as well as some of the replies invested readers left.
Dating as a single parent comes with unique challenges
Image credits: Josh Willink / Pexels (not the actual photo)
This man was shocked when he found out that his girlfriend of 2 months had concealed the fact that she had kids
Image credits: scott neil / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Fearless-Finding-886
Image credits: Pixabay / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Nearly a quarter of kids in the United States grow up in single-parent households
Anyone who has spent some of their adult life dating knows that you can never predict what you’ll encounter out there. Someone may seem perfectly normal on their Hinge profile, then give you the absolute creeps in person.
Or the person who appears to be the man of your dreams after a few dates might suddenly reveal that he’s currently going through a divorce that’s draining every penny he has. And, of course, if you don’t want children, it might be difficult to avoid single parents in the dating pool.
According to the Pew Research Center, the United States has the world’s highest rate of kids living with single parents. In fact, nearly a quarter of children in the U.S. live in single-parent households. Because of this, many of these mothers and fathers find themselves looking for love and desperately hoping that their new partner won’t mind kids.
Now, there are plenty of challenges that come along with dating as a single parent. The Modern Workweek notes that single moms and dads have to be extremely careful about who they bring around their kids to ensure that everyone is safe and comfortable. It can also be difficult to secure childcare or find the time to date while raising children.
And if you do find someone who appears to be a great match, they have to love your kids, or it will never work. At the end of the day, parents will always choose their little ones over any potential relationship.
But just like in any other relationship, single parents need to lead with honesty. Otherwise, it will be impossible to build trust. That’s why it’s important to share the fact that you’re a parent as soon as possible.
According to Dr. Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, LMFT, you might even want to tell your matches before you ever meet. “These people may choose to highlight their children in their profile photos or note what being a parent means to them in their bios,” Dr. Cohen told Vice.
Image credits: August de Richelieu / Pexels (not the actual photo)
It's important to always be honest with the people you're dating
“This may be helpful as you are displaying what and who is important to you from the start, and also prevents you from connecting with a person who may not want children or may not want to date someone who already has children,” she explained.
That’s not always necessary, as you may want to go on a date or two to see if you’re even compatible before dropping the bombshell that you have kids. But Dr. Cohen warns that if you wait too long, your date may feel like you’re intentionally hiding something.
“While you reserve the right to control how and when your information is shared, withholding significant information, such as having children, may make your date question the connection as they may feel that it was not built on openness and transparency,” the expert says.
It’s also important to remember that anyone is allowed to break up with their partner at any time, if that’s what they want. It can be upsetting, and it will probably result in some tears. But the author of this story had every right to end his relationship after finding out something that’s a dealbreaker for him. (Not to mention the fact that his partner was essentially lying.)
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this man made the right choice by pulling the plug on his relationship? Then, if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda article discussing similar issues, look no further than right here.
Many readers supported the author, noting that he had every right to break up with his ex
However, some thought that both parties could have handled the situation differently
