Even if people have been dating for a while, it’s never completely smooth sailing because there can be differences in beliefs, attitudes, or even ways of behaving. One of the most common sources of conflict is money, and these arguments can also expose cracks in the relationship.
This is what a woman experienced after four years with her boyfriend, when he stopped paying rent, refused to contribute financially, and placed all other responsibilities on her. This sudden change left her emotionally drained and in a big fix.
More info: Reddit
It can be hard for a person in love to pinpoint if their relationship is one-sided until it’s too late
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The poster explained that since she was a broke student during the first two years of dating her boyfriend, he expected her to “balance” out all the things he paid for
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Eventually, the man stopped paying rent and expected his 23-year-old girlfriend to manage everything, including all the household chores, and clean up after him
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The poster had to deal with piles of garbage, high bills, and taunts from her partner if she didn’t spend money on him because he felt she owed him for everything he covered before
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The woman finally reached her breaking point after her mooch boyfriend hinted that if they were to get married, her parents would have to bear the costs
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After the poster shared her situation online, she realized how manipulative her boyfriend was, and let her mom know about the situation
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The woman made a plan with her landlord to put the apartment on the market, managed to move out of the place with the help of her friends and family, and also tied up other loose ends
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Later on, the woman also confronted her ex-boyfriend about his behavior, and at first, he tried to make amends, but later on, he began getting verbally aggressive
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After realizing that her ex was very controlling and manipulative, the woman blocked him and tried her best to move on with her life
The poster shared that when she was a 19-year-old student, she didn’t have a job, so her boyfriend covered most of the expenses. Despite that, she tried to help out financially by buying lunch or coffee or by cooking whenever needed. Even though she did all of that, her partner suddenly began feeling it was unfair and insisted they balance things out financially.
According to experts, it can be difficult for couples to figure out how to manage money together, but it’s important that they find a way that works for them. This could be either by splitting expenses or creating budgets based on each individual’s income. Either way, both partners need to be on the same page about this decision, or else it can create conflict.
That’s what happened between the OP and her boyfriend after he just stopped paying the rent for their place. He also stopped contributing to groceries and other expenses because he felt that it was time for her to balance things out since he had paid almost everything for two years at the start of their relationship. This obviously left the poster feeling distressed and confused.
In situations like this, where one partner might not be pulling their weight in the relationship, professionals advise having an open and honest conversation about the issue. This might be tough to do, but rather than pointing fingers, it’s best to use ‘I’ statements and lead with how their actions have made you feel.
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The woman later began to feel that her boyfriend was taking advantage of her kindness, and she didn’t know what to do about his behavior. She also noticed that he seemed to be purposely making her spend extra when they went out, or hiking up bill amounts just so that her expenses would increase.
Even though people might want to see the best in their partner, financial advisors say this kind of behavior is a form of manipulation and control. When someone uses money to assert dominance over their loved one, it might be time to rethink the relationship and reach out to trusted folks for support.
That’s exactly what the woman did after she began noticing the red flags in her boyfriend’s behavior, especially after he hinted that if they were to get married, her parents would have to cover the costs. That’s when she finally reached out to her mother to tell her about the situation and began making a plan of escape.
The OP reached out to her landlord to try to figure out a plan to get her toxic boyfriend kicked out of the place, and also let her workplace know that she would soon be shifting. Luckily, her parents and friends helped her move all of her belongings out of the apartment so that she could cut herself off from the controlling man.
Why do you think the guy all of a sudden began piling all of the financial burden on the poster? We’d love to hear your perspective on this situation.
People were glad that the woman was able to escape her boyfriend and that she had a good support system by her side
