It’s an awful thing, watching your spouse develop a dependence on something, rocking the foundations of your relationship. Dependence also harms your loved ones, not just you. When you choose to spend all of your time on your phone, your loved ones feel neglected and sidelined. And in extreme cases, it can end your marriage and put your entire family in peril.
One incredibly frustrated man turned to the internet for advice after watching his wife’s excessive phone habits derail their family life. Things escalated very quickly after he'd finally had enough and drew a line in the sand. You’ll find the full story, including a very important update, below.
While phones are useful tools, if you become too dependent on them, they can have a very negative impact on your life
Image credits: Anna Shvets/Pexels (not the actual photo)
A frustrated husband opened up online about how his wife's chronic phone overuse got so bad that he had to start enforcing boundaries
Image credits: Timur Weber/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: FrustratedWithPhone
Later on, the man shared more context in a brutally honest comment
Internet users weighed in with their opinions and pieces of advice
Phone dependence, if left untreated, can ruin your physical, mental, and emotional well-being
Image credits: mikoto.raw Photographer/Pexels (not the actual photo)
When you spend all of your time on your phone, talking to and texting with other people, at the expense of your spouse and children, you’re sending them a very clear message. Namely, that they’re not as important or worthy of your time.
That’s not to imply that you can’t have a phone or communicate with anyone outside of your family (that would be ridiculous), but you have to prioritize your time appropriately. Yes, smartphones are incredibly useful tools, but your partner and kids want your attention.
They don’t want to be sidelined, neglected, or feel like you don’t love them. They don’t want to feel like they’re less important than whoever you’re gossiping with every day.
Individuals who are dependent on their smartphones can experience anxiety, agitation, and disorientation if they’re unable to use them. To be clear, smartphones are intentionally designed to be as engaging as possible and difficult to put down. That’s on top of all the apps, social media, games, etc. that do the same.
Chronic phone overuse and dependence can have negative effects on your physical, mental, and emotional health, including:
- Poor sleep
- Worse concentration
- Anxiety
- Reduced cognition
- Aggravated Attention Deficit Disorder
- Stress
- Loneliness
- Insecurity
- Worse creativity
- Impaired relationships
- Poor grades and performance at work
There's a fine line between healthy and unhealthy phone use, and it takes courage to admit that you may have a problem and need to change your habits
Image credits: SHVETS production/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Furthermore, chronic phone overuse has been linked to chemical imbalances in the brain, affecting the production of neurotransmitters like gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA), and decreasing grey matter volume in critical areas.
Someone who is chronically overusing their phone might neglect their duties at work, school, or home, spend more and more time on their phone, lie about their phone use, and have loved ones express concern about their behavior.
A person who is overly dependent on their phone may also repeatedly check people's social media profiles due to anxiety, have a weak or non-existent social life, feel isolated from their loved ones, and get angry or irritated when their phone time is interrupted.
They might also get up at night to check their phone, reach for their phone the moment they are alone or bored, think their phone might be vibrating when it isn’t, and crave access to their phone when their use is limited.
In cases of extreme phone overuse, it’s best to reach out to a mental health specialist for support. Preferably, one with a background in dealing with dependence.
Once you’ve read through the entire story, we’d like to hear your thoughts and opinions in the comments at the bottom of the post, Pandas.
Would you have done anything differently if you were in the man’s shoes? Have you ever struggled with a dependence, and how did that affect your family life? What advice would you give anyone whose significant other seems completely fixated on their phone, at the expense of everything and everyone else? How do you enforce healthy boundaries in your relationships?
A year later, the husband shared an update about his spouse and marriage, and the devastating step he took to protect his family
Image credits: Karola G/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: RDNE Stock project/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Alex Green/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Bas Masseus/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: FrustratedWithPhone
Here's how the internet reacted when they read the dramatic follow-up to the story
