There are a few things that you should avoid doing on someone’s wedding day. Don’t wear white unless the happy couple expressly asks you to. Don’t get out of control while enjoying the open bar. And please, for the love of all that’s good and holy, do NOT propose to your partner. It’s common sense. Unfortunately, it seems like not everyone got the memo.
Redditor u/Daquii went viral on the AITA online community after asking them whether he was wrong for handling a delicate situation with his sibling. The OP shared how he fired his own brother from his business after he had proposed during his wedding. Read on for the full story and to see what the readers on Reddit had to say about the family drama.
We reached out to the author of the viral post, Reddit user u/Daquii, who was kind enough to share a few more of his thoughts about what happened. He said that he would "definitely forgive" his brother, eventually. You'll find Bored Panda's full interview with him as you scroll down.
It's often a horrible idea to propose at someone else's wedding unless you've been given permission to do so
Image credits: Prostock-studio (not the actual photo)
A man shared what he did after his brother ruined his wedding, and asked the net if he had gone too far
Image credits: StudioPeace (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Daquii
The man shared some more context later on
"He might have subconsciously been jealous or inspired by me, but it was not to upset me"
The author of the post opened up to Bored Panda that his only intention was to get some perspective on what happened and to vent a bit online. That's why he turned to the AITA online community.
"I honestly didn’t post this for attention. I wanted to see if I was missing something honestly," redditor u/Daquii told us that he genuinely wanted some advice.
"I know what he did was a faux pas, but I didn’t know if I was in the wrong with how I reacted," the OP told Bored Panda.
"I have lurked the subreddit for a while and hoped I would never need to post, but here we are," the author opened up that he never imagined he'd ask the AITA group for a verdict on something in his own life.
The OP shared more of his thoughts on his brother's proposal at his wedding. "I think he was honestly just dumb," he said.
"He might have subconsciously been jealous or inspired by me, but it was not to upset me. I hope people have learned a bit from my story," u/Daquii said.
"I will definitely forgive him. He was my best man after all, and my brother," the author was optimistic about the future.
"But as of now, I haven’t. He does not seem to understand how he hurt me, and is only apologizing because people told him to," he elaborated.
"I think one day it will be more sincere and we will move on."
Everything might have turned out differently if the brother had spoken to the groom beforehand
The OP’s story went viral and had over 20.3k upvotes at the time of writing. A lot of readers were supportive of the stance the man took, pointing out that his brother really should not have turned the wedding into his own engagement party.
Others, however, were a tad critical of the author, suggesting that he may have gone overboard. As some pointed out, a mistake in a family setting should not lead to consequences at work. Still, others thought that nobody was blameless here and everyone should strive to learn to be happy for each other.
As u/Daquii noted in one of the updates to his post, he wants his brother to be successful in his career… just not at his company anymore.
“I just can’t overlook what he did and how he ruined our day,” he wrote. “As a small business, I can’t imagine seeing him every day at work. Not now at least.”
Like in all areas of life, good communication can solve a lot of problems before they gain a life of their own. For instance, the OP’s brother could have run the idea of the proposal by the happy couple before their Big Day, to see what they think. That would’ve shown that he respects their boundaries.
More than likely, he would’ve been (ever so politely) asked to hold off from proposing until another day. Or, possibly, the OP would have valued the fact that his own brother ran this by him beforehand, and found a way to include the proposal at some point of the wedding reception.
But the point is, without any prior communication, you’re essentially smacking the bride and groom with a bolt from the blue that steals their thunder. And unless it’s a second cake or handing the couple a winning lottery ticket, surprises don’t have much wiggle room during weddings. Especially not show-stoppers like proposals.
The happy couple deserves to celebrate their love and commitment to each other without any surprises catching them unaware
The Knot highlights the fact that it’s probably a bad idea to propose at someone’s wedding because, simply put, it is not your special day. Disrupting it and stealing the spotlight can be rude and show an utter lack of respect for the marrying couple.
“I feel [a] wedding day should be just that, the celebration of the couple's love. The wedding is a showcase for a couple's love story. This is a day we get to witness two people celebrating their journey of creating this union and deciding to be together for the rest of their lives. A wedding is a time for the newlyweds to be celebrated by family and friends,” Lea Rhynehardt, owner and lead planner at Lea Rhynehardt & Co, explains.
CNN reports that the average US wedding costs around $29,000, according to wedding planning site Zola. With so much money, time, energy, and nerves poured into making the Happy Day the best it could ever be, the couple should be allowed to enjoy their vision of how their wedding should turn out.
A random proposal would not only derail the event but also make the couple feel like they’ve suddenly burned a lot of cash on a celebration that someone else stole. The couple might react very strongly to such an incident.
They might hash things out with the newly engaged couple in public or… fire them. And it’s understandable to a certain extent—there’s a lot of money and memories at stake here. What the reaction should be and how far-reaching the consequences might be will depend on the people and each particular situation.
Instead of piggybacking on someone else’s celebration of love, someone who wants to propose to their partner could hire an event planner to put together a romantic plan. Elegance and style are perfectly achievable without having to ruin a close relative’s Big Day. Besides, your partner deserves to have a unique engagement.
Some internet users thought that the groom acted appropriately, considering what took place
Others, however, thought that the situation was far more complicated. They weren't in a rush to let the author off the hook
