It doesn't just happen in telenovelas: couples really do break up over money issues. Some sources claim that 20%-40% of partners call it quits because of financial disagreements. Some spend too much, others have secrets, but for this couple, it was coming into a sudden fortune that ultimately led to their demise.
The boyfriend shared their story about how he won a bet and earned $750k. After such luck, the girlfriend started acting strangely, implying that she was now rich and "set for life." Unsettled by such talk, the BF made a surprising decision but decided to keep it from his family and friends.
A guy came into $750k when he got a lucky strike in sports betting
Image credits: Eduardo Dutra / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
He kept it from everyone but his GF, but she, too, started acting strangely
Image credits: Pablo Merchán Montes / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Bricksquad9
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Financial experts say it's best to keep relationships and money separate
Suddenly coming into a lot of money can definitely change relationships. Interestingly, the outcome is often different for men than it is for women. Researchers from New York University, the Stockholm School of Economics, and the University of Barcelona studied the effect of winning the lottery on marriages.
They found that men are 30% more likely to get married and have children after gaining sudden wealth and 40% less likely to get divorced. For women, it's the opposite: divorce rates almost doubled for women in the following few years after winning the lottery.
Some experts believe that sudden windfalls themselves don't cause the problem but rather highlight the existing problems in the relationship. "[It's] like a marriage suddenly hit by a financial earthquake—not caused by debt or loss, but by abundance," Seth Eisenberg, president of the PAIRS Foundation, told Newsweek. "And when money becomes a dividing line instead of a shared blessing, it often reveals deeper cracks that were already there."
In a previous interview for Bored Panda, financial therapist Nathan Astle, LMFT, CFT - I™, explained that sudden windfalls almost always complicate relationships. "Family relationships, friendships, work relationships, pretty much everything," he said. "This is actually a fairly common experience for people where there is a drastic shift in their wealth. Friends, family, and even your kindergarten pen pal come asking for favors."
Astle often recommends that his clients keep relationships and money separate. "You never want to question whether the relationship is about safety and genuine enjoyment or if it is just a ploy for money. That can really mess with our brains." Perhaps the OP in this story did the right thing when he decided to keep his winning to himself.
Image credits: Alexander Grey / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The fairest way to split finances is for both partners to contribute proportionally to their earnings
We tend to think of romantic partnerships as arrangements where both parties are equal. Both partners should take on their part of the household chores, both should show each other respect, and both should contribute to financial security.
The now-old-ish meme about "Looking for a man in finance" is on par with the stereotype that women look for rich men they can marry. That's because we tend to associate financial security with happiness.
"It's one way of improving your circumstances: you're more likely to shoot up the income and wealth scales by marrying than by working hard," Danny Dorling, professor of human geography at the University of Oxford, told The Guardian. "Of course, that doesn't mean you're going to be happy."
There are different models of how to share the financial burdens in a relationship. Some opt for 50/50, which works best when both partners have a similar income. When the wealth gap between partners is bigger, experts recommend splitting costs proportionately.
Of course, a sudden windfall doesn't equal regular earnings. The author of this story doesn't detail how much he was earning before the winning bet. Still, for the girlfriend to expect to now be "set for life" definitely reveals a thing or two about her priorities.
Some commenters agreed that it's best to keep any sudden wins to yourself: "Money changes people"
Others blamed the boyfriend: "He was just looking for a reason to dump her"
