Woman Can’t Understand How Her Family Can Be Supportive Of Dad’s ‘Disgusting’ Marriage

Step sibling and step child relationships can be tenuous, since there might not immediately be that bond of trust that tends to exist between blood relatives. But, unfortunately, the lack of relation by blood can also lead to other outcomes.

A woman vented her disgust after learning that her father, after marrying his twenty-years younger stepdaughter, was going to have a child with her. Even worse, her sister seemed oblivious to the issues. We reached out to the woman who shared the story via private message and we’ll update the article when she gets back to us.

In many places, including the US, a step-parent, legally, isn’t in any way connected to the family. In cases where the other parent is still alive, but separated from the family, for example due to a divorce, there is no legal precedent to have a step parent pay child support. Similarly, a step parent can’t make medical decisions for the child and really has no rights regarding them unless a formal adoption is made.

Partially, this is to help prevent cases of abuse, where some “random” stranger suddenly gets parental rights over children who hardly know them. But the flipside is that, as in this story, there is really no legal measure to prevent a step parent from just marrying their stepchild. As far as the law is concerned, this is a consenting romantic relationship between unrelated acquaintances.

While fiction is littered with stories of the “wicked stepmother,” most famously in Cinderella, in general, abuse tends to come from stepfathers more often than stepmothers. Most child abuse, from grooming to worse, happens between a kid and someone they know. “Stranger danger” is massively overhyped compared to the risk from family and friends. After all, these folks are supposed to be “trusted” and have a lot more unsupervised access.

While we do not have all the details, the story this woman shares has many of the telltale signs of grooming. The adult, her father in this case, does seem to have taken an unusually high interest in his stepdaughter. It would appear that she herself was aware of this, as she tried to hide that she was dating someone.

Groomers use their trusted position to get close to people and slowly begin to dominate their lives. This is very similar to an emotionally abusive relationship, where the abuser will make the person feel like they are not deserving of love and slowly make them cut contact with other people. Even parents can be toxic and controlling, which is why it’s always important to have a support network.

The result of this special treatment and lack of outside perspective often means the victim isn’t capable of realizing what is happening to them. In extreme cases, they will even blame themselves, a side effect of being manipulated into maintaining a very low self-image. Often, when the abuser is being investigated, the victim will struggle to blame them.

In some cases, like in this story, it has gone so far that the victim is entirely unaware that they are a victim. After all, given her age, the step daughter made the choice to marry her stepfather as an adult. Despite the size of the age gap, legally, there is nothing “wrong” with this marriage, unless there exists evidence that she was made to do it under duress.

Ultimately, the fact that this woman could not make her sister see reason is disheartening. It can be very difficult to accept the fact that one’s parents are terrible people. Folks who are more non-confrontational might also want to “keep the peace” and will simply let it slide. The best this woman can do is wait and be ready to help both her stepsister and her child in the future.