What you may not know is that for over thirty years now, there has been a satirical virtual 'Darwin Award,' which recognizes persons who have supposedly 'contributed to human evolution' by selecting themselves out of the gene pool by passing away by their own stupid actions.
Well, the hero of our story today is alive - and even recently became a father, but for his own actions towards his marriage, he definitely deserves a unique variation of the Darwin Award. Something like 'How to destroy your marriage after a happy decade in just a few words...' Don’t believe me? Then let's read on!
More info: Reddit
The author of the post recently became a father for the first time after around 10 years of marriage
Image credits: Anna Shvets (not the actual photo)
However, the man wasn't eager to help his wife in taking care of the baby, though he changed his work schedule
Image credits: u/11herb
One fine day the husband even approached the wife with a demand to do a paternity test
Image credits: Valeria Zoncoll (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/11herb
And after the results confirmed his paternity, the author finally agreed to take care of the kid
Image credits: CDC (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/11herb
But then the wife struck back - she claimed it was a betrayal and moved in with her parents with the baby
So, the Original Poster (OP), in his own words, is a man in his early 30s, and his wife is a year younger. They have been together for more than 10 years, and two months ago they became parents for the first time. And when you have a baby, believe me, you need the active participation of both people, thanks to whom they were born.
But the man, it seems, was in no hurry to get involved, so the main burden of caring for the child fell on the mom’s shoulders. With all the ensuing consequences, which any doctor or any experienced parents will tell you about. But the original poster apparently decided to get information from the numerous 'alpha male' videos and podcasts.
As you probably already understand, this didn't lead to anything good. One fine day, the guy came to his wife and asked her to do a DNA test for the child. She, frankly speaking, was shocked, but agreed. And only when the test results confirmed his paternity, the dude announced that now he was definitely ready to take part in caring for the baby.
But then something happened that most likely none of the heroes of those videos and podcasts told the guy about. The wife stated that with his demand literally out of the blue, he had questioned her fidelity, their mutual trust after ten years together, and that it was damn inappropriate, offensive and generally felt like a betrayal.
After saying this, the woman packed her belongings, took the baby, and went to her parents’ house, where she is now. And the original poster is only now beginning to realize that he “did something wrong,” and that he, it seems, destroyed his marriage and his family with his own hands...
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
"Let me try to guess - this man felt a 'change in previous feelings' towards him on the part of his wife after the birth of a child, began to wonder what this could be connected with, and found nothing better than to suspect his wife of infidelity?" ponders Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here.
“And he, of course, didn't think about such terms as postpartum depression, or simply about the specifics of female physiology and psychology after the childbirth. And at the moment when his wife actually needed support and his help most of all, he actually stuck a knife in her back..."
“The most surprising thing is that with the abundance of literature, videos and specialists who can explain literally any nuance - and explain it absolutely correctly, many people still turn to dubious sources, and then wonder why everything went wrong?” Irina summarizes.
Commenters under the original post do not particularly mince words when characterizing the author. "That's awful that you put her thorough that," one of the people wrote angrily in the comments. "She definitely deserves better and is probably starting to realize it." "You ruined your marriage because you treated your wife [badly]. That is her perspective, and she's right," another commenter added.
Many people in the comments are also almost sure that after what happened, there is no future for this relationship, and that all that remains for the OP here is to try to become a decent dad, at least. "You deserve this. Focus on being a better father and accept that it will likely be a coparenting relationship from now on," someone wrote. And what do you, our dear readers, think here?
People in the comments unanimously blamed the man for doing a stupid thing and actually ruining his marriage
