The great Spanish playwright Lope de Vega wrote a play called "The Dog in the Manger" about a lady constantly searching for a new love interest, all while keeping her bestie in the friend zone. The story, unfortunately, is completely typical of both the 17th century, when the play was written, and today.
In the play we've described, everything ends happily with the two friends marrying - but this is romantic fiction after all, and real life is often much more complicated. Like this story by the user u/HungrySprinkles193, which we invite you to read today. So, ladies and gentlemen, it's actually "The Dog in the Manger" reimagined!
More info: Reddit
Sometimes, relationships between people are just like the classical plot of "The Dog in the Manger," and the situation repeats itself over and over
Image credits: Cybèle and Bevan / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The author of the post is a young man whose bestie, "Chloe," had been rejecting all of his romantic hints for years
Image credits: HungrySprinkles193
Image credits: Vitaly Gariev / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The man didn't hide his feelings, but Chloe just kept leaving him in the friend zone
Image credits: HungrySprinkles193
Image credits: Daniele La Rosa Messina / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
In fact, the author had been rejected thrice by her, but she kept giving him flirty hints at the same time
Image credits: HungrySprinkles193
Image credits: Adrian Swancar / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The man finally got fed up with the emotional rollercoaster and decided to reconcile with his ex-girlfriend
Image credits: HungrySprinkles193
Image credits: benzoix / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When Chloe discovered this, she ended up being completely dramatic, and called the author out
Image credits: HungrySprinkles193
Image credits: Vitaly Gariev / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Turns out, the woman had always considered her friend as a backup option and nothing more
Image credits: HungrySprinkles193
The author believes this was the right decision, so he took his story online, seeking support
The Original poster (OP) is a 24-year-old man who has had a best friend for five years. Her name is "Chloe," and she’s a year younger. They'd always had a wonderful relationship, and our hero occasionally dropped unambiguous hints that he wouldn't mind turning their friendship into something more serious.
Well, each time, Chloe outright rejected the guy. However, just a couple of days would pass before she'd return with blatant flirting and suggestive jokes. The original poster would try again, and then the same thing would happen... Basically, it was like a bad, cheap rom-com.
After yet another iteration of this cycle, she realized something was wrong with the situation and decided to move on. The author reconciled with his ex-girlfriend, with whom he'd once broken up on good terms, and they decided to try to build their relationship once more. Need I even mention that Chloe, upon learning this news, got absolutely dramatic?
The woman tried to accuse the OP of being vile and said she'd always loved him, but he reasonably retorted that he'd actually tried to take their relationship to the next level three times. After several theatric pauses from Chloe, our hero finally figured out the truth - that he'd never been a choice for her, but was merely a backup option. So, the man decided to take his story online, just to vent about it.
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
"Unfortunately, this happens quite often - when a person keeps a friend not even on the friendzone, but simply views them as a backup option in case their relationship with someone else doesn't work out," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment on this case. "Of course, such mind games seem completely unfair to the friend."
The expert is confident that such behavior on the woman's part is at the very least unethical, and her attempts to ruin the bestie's renewed relationship with his ex are simply a big red flag. So, in fact, the original poster's worry that their friendship is likely over is in vain.
"Basically, this man learned an important life lesson - if you've been friend-zoned for years and constantly mind-gamed at the slightest hint of a romantic relationship, you should seriously reconsider this kind of friendship," Irina Matveeva sums up reasonably.
Most people in the comments also agreed that the original poster simply discovered Chloe’s true colors in time. On the other hand, one responder rightly noted that the early 20s are the perfect time to learn these important life lessons and practice recognizing red flags. So do you, our dear readers, also agree with this viewpoint?
Many commenters agreed with the man, claiming that he was 100% right and Chloe had actually revealed her true colors
