My mom was a people pleaser, and I have seen too many people take advantage of her for quite a few years. However, something within her switched after she turned 50, and I was so glad to see her put up healthy boundaries against the toxic moochers.
Even this woman was a people-pleaser, who was already letting her brother-in-law stay in their home. Despite her generosity, her husband insisted that they should also house his mommy, but she finally put her foot down. Scroll down to find out all the drama that followed!
More info: Reddit
It's very important to set up boundaries, even against family, or it can quickly ruin things for you
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster and her husband stayed with her mom to save up for their wedding and home, but after they bought one, his brother moved in with them
Image credits: Delicious-Ticket-303
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster's brother-in-law was only supposed to stay with them for 2 years, but then her mother-in-law also wanted to join them with her family
Image credits: Delicious-Ticket-303
Image credits: wavebreak media / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster never had a good relationship with her mother-in-law, who was cold towards her, so she refused to let her move in
Image credits: Delicious-Ticket-303
Image credits: kues1 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
This sparked massive drama as the mother-in-law kept pushing for it, and even the poster's husband tried to manipulate her
Image credits: Delicious-Ticket-303
The poster reluctantly agreed to let the woman stay for a month till she found her own place, but her husband felt that she was being "unfair"
Today, we dive into a couple's conflict as the original poster (OP) tells us how she got fed up with her husband’s family. When her boyfriend moved into her state, they both stayed with her mom rent-free as the woman wanted them to save for the wedding and their own house. Things went downhill after they bought their own place and moved in, as her husband missed his family.
He would even cry at times, and wanted his younger brother to live with them. OP found this weird, as he wanted to get away from them in the first place. However, she relented after he claimed that he had “tolerated” her family before. She was fine with the brother-in-law, who contributed to the household, and he was going to stay for 2 years max.
However, the husband’s mom also wanted to move in with her husband and mother-in-law. That is when our poster put her foot down and refused. The truth is, this lady was quite mean, as she always acted cold towards OP, never did anything for them (unlike her own mom), and had also disrespected her family in the past, when the couple was dating.
Much to the poster's dismay, her husband was not having it and kept insisting that his mommy live with them. Well, she caved in, but only partially. She stated that the woman could stay for a month only, after which she had to find a place with her younger son. However, OP couldn’t let go of the guilt she was feeling, so she wondered whether she was being a jerk.
Image credits: volodymyrshtun89 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Netizens opened her eyes that she was being completely manipulated by the “mama’s boy.” Experts also stress that "Guilt is an emotion that many people easily feel, so manipulators prey on this sensitivity. They know that making you feel bad makes them more likely to get what they want. Besides, they also use sneaky tactics to bully their victims emotionally."
That’s exactly what her husband was doing by guilt-tripping her and even “crying” about missing his family until she relented. Also, his remark about “tolerating her family” was almost scoff-worthy. The average rent per month in the US is anywhere between $1,400 and $2,000. They were able to save up a lot of money because of her mom, so he should have been grateful.
Coming to his mom, she sounded pretty problematic. Research also emphasizes that boundary violation, manipulation, and using guilt as a tool are classic signs of a toxic in-law. Moreover, studies have shown that 60% of women admitted that the relationship with their mother-in-law caused them long-term unhappiness and stress. No wonder OP didn’t want her in their home.
Many peeps online claimed that she had a “husband problem,” and I must say, I agree. Not only was he a manipulator, but he also had no regard for his wife’s feelings. All she wanted was to live in their new house, just the two of them, but he couldn’t even fulfill that much. Don’t you agree that he was being very insensitive towards her? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!
Netizens gave her a wake-up call that the whole family was manipulating her, and she should not even let the woman stay for a month
