Man Comes Up With A Clever Way To Get Rid Of Jehovah's Witnesses After His Black Cat Comes Up

There are few things as annoying as the feeling of having one’s peace shattered because a smiling, yet uninvited guest has come to the door. Maybe they are selling knives, perhaps salvation, but either way, most of us would do almost anything to make them go away. Sometimes, fat itself decides to intervene on your behalf, if you can seize the moment.

A man was being pestered by a pair of Jehovah's Witnesses so he decided to play a little joke on them. People applauded his creativity and shared their own experiences with door-to-door bothers. We got in touch with OP to learn more.

Bored Panda got in touch with the wonderfully named Scurvy64Dawg and he was kind enough to briefly answer some of our questions. "When this happened we were on the receiving end of regular visits from Jehovah's Witnesses - at least twice a year for many years. There may have been a rare local church a time or two, but nothing close to the JWs. Where I live now I still get the occasional religious group now and then, but mostly salesman these days. Some of these salespeople are very persistent, which actually forces me to be rude to get them to leave. I understand that just closing the door can bring things to an end, but that's not an option when I'm working in the garage or the yard. A few commenters brought up the theory that door-to-door evangelism has nothing to do with recruitment and everything to do with showing their followers that the outside world will reject them, thus cementing their loyalty. I believe this theory myself, which is why I really don't want to be rude to them. That and I know some of them don't want to be doing this door-to-door bit either."

While the Jehovah's Witnesses aren’t the only group to preach its message door to door, they are generally the best known. Indeed, if you see a clean, beardless, and generally well-dressed pair of people at your door, it’s a relatively safe bed that they will be telling you about the wonderfully dramatically named Watch Tower Society.

What sets Jehovah’s Witnesses apart is the belief that they are separate from all other religions, including other branches and denominations of Christianity. As a result, a lifelong Christian might receive a visit from a JW, who will inquire if they have ever heard the gospel. This can be both irritating and bemusing, depending on one’s mentality.

Going door to door, what they call “public preaching” is seen as a requirement for members of the church (generally called witnesses), hence the sheer numbers of recruits. They are often required to submit monthly reports, called "Field Service Reports," to indicate how well (or poorly) they are doing. The performance meetings must be brutal if they are willing to put up with constant abuse and stonewalling from the public just to boost these numbers.

This practice has gone all the way back to 1920, although there is one important caveat. The main measurement of a “witness's” effectiveness isn’t the conversion rate, it’s simply the number of hours they “worked.” As anyone with a commission-based job can confirm, hours worked don’t necessarily translate into anything productive.

Indeed, one wonders if the JW’s have an incentive to not report “conversion rates.” One has to assume they are fairly low, given the general disdain most people have for them. It’s pretty easy to see just how hard it might be to convince new witnesses of the effectiveness of this practice if their success rate looks more like a rounding error.

At the same time, it might not be that easy to measure a “conversion.” Would a person saying that they are interested to a witness count? They might be lying to get them to leave. If a person comes to a JW church (also dramatically named “Kingdom Halls”) on any given Sunday, can you attribute their presence to a door-to-door conversion? After all, most people are generally aware of Jehovah’s Witnesses in general.

All in all, regardless of where you stand spiritually, the vast majority of us don’t want to be disturbed at home, much less by a physical person. An unexposed phone call is annoying enough, but getting a person at your door to leave can create a degree of antagonism so intense, it almost seems counterproductive for the proselytizer.

Many people have no doubt dreamt of the sort of revenge OP pulled in this story. Indeed, based on some people’s reactions, these JW’s in particular got off easy. The comments, some of which can be found below, are full of other stories from people who answered the door and decided to put a stop to these pestering preachers.