When two people get together, more often than not, they have to deal with each other’s families. Those families can be loving and respectful and support their children in their decisions. In those cases, the in-law relationships flourish.
However, sometimes people encounter families that are a bit too much. The extremes reach completely opposite ends with parents that are too distant, dismissive, and careless or way too involved, restrictive, and demanding. All of those couples have quite a bit to manage together.
This seems to be the case with the protagonists of this story shared on the subreddit Petty Revenge. The family of one of them has been bothering the couple about having children. Their persistent pushing has been so annoying, the couple decided to do something about it. Scroll down to read what happened.
Having children is a big decision that couples should be freely making by themselves
Image credits: J carter (not the actual photo)
However, some in-laws like to put additional pressure on them, just like it happened with this couple
Image credits: Yaroslav Shuraev (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Meetmebythebeans
Image credits: wendel moretti (not the actual photo)
Taking the husband's family name when getting married is very popular in the US
The decision to take the wife’s name is quite unusual, especially when you consider the traditions of the English-speaking world. Taking the husband’s last name is very prevalent there. So much so that in the 2010s, only 22% of women in the US kept their maiden names after marriage.
The reasoning behind the change often relates to tradition and wanting to create a cohesive family unit. A lot of the time, having the same surname also makes paperwork easier, the bureaucracy being especially complicated when it comes to children.
Image credits: Alena Darmel (not the actual photo)
In general, changing the family name is not a common occurrence everywhere
However, the name-changing tradition is quite foreign in many other countries, some of which even prohibit doing so after marriage. For example, in France, the only legally recognized name you can have is the one that is on your birth certificate. Couples can still use their spouse’s name colloquially and in social settings, but not in any official paperwork. Similar laws forbidding taking on your spouse’s name are in place in Belgium, The Netherlands, and Italy.
The reasons for keeping the names are quite simple and often not even political. Many just want to keep their identity and avoid paperwork. With a lot of people getting married later in life, it often means that they’ve already lived with the name long enough for it to be a part of them. In addition, many already have established careers and they don’t want their professional life to suffer because of surname confusion.
Image credits: Andre Furtado (not the actual photo)
The decision should suit the couple before anyone else
Taking on the wife’s name is probably the most misunderstood choice of them all. According to HuffPost’s survey, the majority of people think it’s at least a little odd. Mostly, because people are socialized from a young age to expect for the woman to change her name upon marriage.
When it comes to couples picking the wife's name over the husband's, the reasons are often also often practical. Sometimes it’s related to children, other times it has to do with family and how close or distant the partner is to them. Often the wife’s name simply sounds better.
Many come to the decision of taking the wife’s surname after discussing what works best for both partners. Which is, in general, the best way to approach the matter for anybody. So, if you are about to get married, don't take anyone's name for granted and have an open-minded conversation instead.
The story garnered a lot of positive reactions and suggestions. The protagonist responded to them, sharing a few more insights into her situation
