Taking care of one’s home is not a “his” or “hers” responsibility; unless, of course, that’s the mutually agreed-upon arrangement in the household.
When there isn’t an arrangement, it shouldn’t be assumed that the females will take care of everything. Yet this redditor’s son believed that that should be the case, as he believed that chores are a woman’s responsibility and that “only simps do simple household chores”. After hearing that, his father decided to teach the young man a lesson, teaming up with his ex-wife to do it.
Scroll down to find the full story below, where you will also find Bored Panda’s interview with a clinical psychologist, author, wellness coach, and mental health advocate, Dr. Monica Vermani, who was kind enough to share her insight on the importance of fair division of chores.
Ideally, chores shouldn’t fall on the shoulders of one household member only
Image credits: rantaimages / Freepik (not the actual photo)
This netizen’s 16yo son believed that “chores are a woman’s job” and that “only failed men do stuff like this”
Image credits: Gabriel Ponton / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: rborzin / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The OP later edited the post to provide more context regarding the situation
Image credits: Polina Tankilevitch / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Kindel Media / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Low_Affect3539
Image credits: SHVETS production / Pexels (not the actual photo)
In many households, there is still inequality when it comes to the division of chores
If you live in a home, you should take care of said home. In a perfect world, chores should be as simple as that, and everyone should be happy to do them. Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world, and funny-tweets/">chores are a pain in the neck, yet we still have to do them.
In many households, most of the chores—or the responsibilities regarding them—fall on the shoulders of one unfortunate individual, oftentimes the woman in the family. If she’s not doing them herself, she might be responsible for assigning tasks to family members or pointing out what needs to be done to kids who made the mistake of complaining of “having nothing to do” to their parents. (Many of us likely know just how quickly moms and dads can give you something “fun” to do.)
Discussing such responsibilities and the importance of division of chores, clinical psychologist and mental health advocate Dr. Monica Vermani noted that today, even as many families rely on two incomes, women still carry an unfair burden of hands-on family and household chores.
“They also carry the significant weight of what is known as the mental load (also known as invisible load or cognitive load) of planning, overseeing, anticipating, and managing the physical, logistical, and emotional needs and plans for the household and everyone in it. Often, as parents age, this unfair physical and mental load expands to include eldercare,” the expert told Bored Panda.
“The results of this unfair burden can be devastating to intimate partner relationships. The partner doing an unfair share of the hands-on word and mental load feels disrespected, taken advantage of, tired, stressed, and unappreciated. [In the setting of a romantic relationship,] the resulting resentment leads to decreased levels of intimacy, a lack of connection, and the dissolution of the partnership or the marriage.”
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Many young adults don’t feel ready to tackle such tasks as cleaning after leaving home
Dr. Vermani continued to point out that a healthy relationship is one where both individuals are valued and feel safe and respected. It’s safe to assume that, unless taught a lesson (which his parenting/">parents set out to do), the young man might hold on to his views regarding chores even later in life, which might negatively affect the relationships he might form in the future.
Such predispositions regarding chores can definitely have a negative effect on his life and his ability to take care of himself in the chapters succeeding his teenage years. In the comments under the post, netizens pointed out that unless taught how to do chores, the young man would not be able to take care of himself at the university, for instance.
The OP shared that his son's inability to handle himself at university was also in the back of his mind when he decided to try to change his child’s views regarding chores. And he’s not the only parent worried about their kid not being able to look after themselves after having left home.
According to a survey released by the American Cleaning Institute (ACI), close to three-in-four college parents (74%) believe that their children are “not completely prepared to clean on their own”. The youngsters themselves seemingly think so, too, as roughly as many (72%, as of 2022) admitted feeling less than completely prepared to tackle the responsibility of cleaning on their own.
Such data emphasizes just how important it is to teach children to take care of—and clean up after—themselves, which ought to come in handy in the future, be it in relationships or surviving uni. Fellow netizens applauded the dad’s determination to teach his son a lesson, even if later rather than sooner; however, some believed that the way he did, it wasn’t the best, as he relayed most of the responsibility on the woman, circling back to the initial issue of women bearing the larger share of the load.
He also shared more information in the comments
Netizens applauded the way the parents teamed up on teaching the young man a lesson
Some people believed the father was a jerk in the situation
Some netizens believed that everyone was at fault here
