Nothing ruins the mood quite like a man who doesn’t care about small talk or chemistry, but simply wants to jump into the sheets.
A woman, single for 3 years, shared a voice note from a man who gave her an ultimatum if she wanted to see him again.
His businesslike tone as he put his foot down sparked an intense online discussion about modern dating.
Highlights
- A man was heard giving a woman an ultimatum right after their first date.
- “Like genuinely what possessed him to send this,” the baffled woman said as she shared his message online.
- His voice note sparked an intense discussion about modern dating online.
- “This gives ‘I bought you dinner why won’t you sleep with me’ vibes,” one said online.
In a voicemail that’s now making the rounds online, a man was heard giving a woman some sort of ultimatum if she wanted to see him again
Image credits: kcuilty8
“Like genuinely what possessed him to send this #thatsmywhy,” a woman named Kelly wrote as she shared the voice memo in a TikTok video, which garnered more than 4.2 million views on the platform.
The voicenote came trickling in after Kelly and the man had their first date.
“I had a good time tonight,” he said. “I definitely think you are lovely. However…”
The man then went on to state his needs without hesitation, saying he saw no “point” in a second date at her house if they weren’t going to hook up.
Image credits: kcuilty8
“If we’re going to your place on Thursday, I am looking to have that physical intimacy to see if I am s**ually compatible with you,” he said.
The date-negotiator said being physically intimate had to be on the agenda so that he could evaluate whether they should continue dating.
“If I’m going to come over, I would be hoping to hook up, have s**, have a good time, have that romantic spark, that physical spark there for my own sake because it’s hard for me to continue dating someone and see them if I don’t know if I’m s**ually compatible,” he was heard saying.
The man said he saw no “point” in a second date if they weren’t going to hook up
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION/Pexels (not an actual photo)
The let-me-be-clear voice note suggested that the woman might have expressed some hesitation about being intimate on the second date. But he said he struggled to see the point if they weren’t going to be intimate.
“I know you said, ‘I don’t know about that.’ So I guess my thing is like, what would be the point of me coming over then if we’re not going to hook up and cuddle and be intimate with each other,” he said.
“And if that’s what you don’t want, that’s fine… We should end it here then, respectfully.”
He then clarified that the no-intimacy rule was fine on first dates because that's when “you want to get to know each other.”
“I’m all about that,” he continued. But he didn’t want to keep seeing someone if that “physical aspect” wasn’t there, he asserted.
“Let me know. If you want me to come over, I’m happy to do so. Would love to f***, have a good time, and we can have some wine and hang out and chill. But if you’re not trying to hook up, then we should just go our separate ways. Let me know,” he concluded.
The voice note sparked a massive online debate about the frustrations of modern dating.
“This dude 1000% took a day trading class and thinks he’s an expert,” one said, while another wrote, “I've been trying to tell guys that the bar is so f***ing low. I've known this for years.”
“This gives ‘I bought you dinner why won't you sleep with me’ vibes,” one said online
Image credits: Ron Lach/Pexels (not an actual photo)
“If I was the girl I don't think I would've been able to finish listening to the whole thing because it's that cringe,” another said.
“Yep. Bro gives this speech 20 times a week to voicemails. I bet he’s on dating apps, absolutely spamming any woman that will message him back,” one said. “Get a first date and then immediately hits them with this because all he wants to do is get his d*** wet. He doesn’t want a relationship.”
Image credits: Julio Lopez/Pexels (not an actual photo)
“Yeah he truly sounds like he’s circling back with his coworker about what they talked about in the last meeting. Why do you sound like you’re trying to get a promotion at work? Lmao,” wrote another.
Another said, “Srsly this would dry anyone up. It's so embarrassing, I can't believe this ever worked for him.”
Most single people feel like it’s hard to find love now more than ever
Image credits: Mariana Perla/Pexels (not an actual photo)
Single people often find modern dating to be quite challenging, saying it’s hard to find love now more than ever.
A 2024 study commissioned by Tinder took responses from 8,000 heterosexual participants in the U.S., U.K., Australia, and Canada.
Image credits: onetoforseeforall/Pexels (not an actual photo)
53% of single men and 68% of single women said they wanted a romantic relationship, but 91% of men and 94% of women said they think the current dating environment is more difficult than ever.
A 2024 study by Forbes Health also found that “dating fatigue” is the prevailing feeling across the landscape, with around 78% of dating app users reporting that they felt “emotionally, mentally, or physically exhausted.”
“That made me want to vomit,” one commented online
