The goal of seeking therapy is to gain clarity through the guidance of a licensed professional. However, some people use it as a crutch to manage their lives, and it often leads to problematic situations.
This married couple is an example of that, when the woman began seeing a therapist to help her cope with her problems at home, including dealing with her autistic son. She became overly reliant on the counseling she had been receiving to the point that she was weaponizing it against her husband.
The man grew fed up and filed for divorce, leaving the family with a newborn child in complete disarray.
Some develop an unhealthy reliance on psychotherapy
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This was a problem with a couple when the woman began seeing a therapist and weaponized it against her husband
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It came to a point where the woman also abandoned her responsibilities to her older son
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Engaging in “therapy speak” can mask biases against a partner as objectivity
The author gave multiple examples of how his wife may have weaponized therapy in their marriage. She is one of the many people who have used “therapy speak” to vocalize what they think is happening around them.
It’s why many have thrown around terms like “narcissist” or “gaslighting,” despite not knowing what these terms exactly mean. In the context of a relationship, clinical psychologist Dr. Catherine Aponte notes that couples may resort to it to disguise their biases against their partner as an objective observation.
“Therapy speak is just the newest way to characterize rather than describe our partner’s actions,” she wrote, noting that it ultimately prevents an honest conversation that is important in relationships.
Keynote speaker and clinical psychologist Dr. Perpetua Neo clarified that healthy therapy speak does exist. In her article for MindBodyGreen, she described it as a conversation that is “open to reflection, review, and education, and is thoughtfully used.”
An example she gave was saying something like, “I have a suggestion, would you like me to say it?” instead of bombarding your partner with your ideas.
On the other hand, Dr. Neo also gave an example of unhealthy therapy speak, such as being trigger-happy with branding someone as “toxic.”
“While we should not have to ask someone to prove they've been hurt, we similarly should not rush to brand everything toxic,” Dr. Neo wrote.
Upon recognizing that someone may be weaponizing therapy speak, Dr. Neo advises shutting the conversation down with a statement like, “This isn’t something I’d like to discuss with you.”
However, the situation of the couple in the story appears to be beyond repair, especially since the woman seems to have abandoned her responsibilities as a mother to her older son. The man’s decision to file for a divorce may be reasonable, considering how his wife does not seem to think she has done anything wrong.
Image credits: Antoni Shkraba Studio (not the actual photo)
The man provided more information, and many people in the comments sided with him
Others had choice words for the wife, as some encouraged him to move forward with the divorce
