Two years after my daughter was born, my ex and I had a major falling out over her infidelity and [substance] use. She quickly proved herself completely incapable of taking care of our children. I filed for full custody for both children. My ex flew off the handle, and one day before the hearing, she told me that our daughter wasn’t mine and that if I tried getting full custody, then I would never see her again.
I was devastated at the thought, but I loved my daughter. Over the course of a few months, my ex spiraled out of control, and I was ultimately awarded full custody of both children. She left the state to get treatment, then after a couple of years, disappeared with a new boyfriend she met in rehab.
My parents pressed me to get a DNA test. They adored their granddaughter and would continue to love her regardless of whether or not she was my biological child. They just wanted to know the truth, because they didn’t want my ex to use it as a weapon against me out of spite down the road. Honestly, I wanted to remain ignorant. I’m not sure if that’s right or wrong, but it’s how I felt. Well, they eventually said that if I didn’t get a DNA test, then they would get one using their DNA. I relented, got the test, and received the heart-breaking results. She wasn’t mine.
Those results never for a second changed how I feel about my daughter. I know there are plenty of children raised by stepparents or adopted parents who lead happy lives. I just dread the thought of having the conversation with her one day, worried about how she’ll take the news. I’m still completely unsure of when the right time to tell her is.
It’s been five years since I learned the truth. Regardless of whether or not she shares my DNA, I will always see her as nothing less than my daughter. I held her the day she was born. I’ve been with her every step of the way. I’ve since remarried, and my new wife fully embraced her. My daughter calls her “mommy.” She is the greatest joy in my life, and she deserves a loving, happy family. I supposed it would have been well within my rights to walk away when I found out, but there’s no way I could’ve done that. I feel for anyone who ever has to receive this gut punch.
I was devastated at the thought, but I loved my daughter. Over the course of a few months, my ex spiraled out of control, and I was ultimately awarded full custody of both children. She left the state to get treatment, then after a couple of years, disappeared with a new boyfriend she met in rehab.
My parents pressed me to get a DNA test. They adored their granddaughter and would continue to love her regardless of whether or not she was my biological child. They just wanted to know the truth, because they didn’t want my ex to use it as a weapon against me out of spite down the road. Honestly, I wanted to remain ignorant. I’m not sure if that’s right or wrong, but it’s how I felt. Well, they eventually said that if I didn’t get a DNA test, then they would get one using their DNA. I relented, got the test, and received the heart-breaking results. She wasn’t mine.
Those results never for a second changed how I feel about my daughter. I know there are plenty of children raised by stepparents or adopted parents who lead happy lives. I just dread the thought of having the conversation with her one day, worried about how she’ll take the news. I’m still completely unsure of when the right time to tell her is.
It’s been five years since I learned the truth. Regardless of whether or not she shares my DNA, I will always see her as nothing less than my daughter. I held her the day she was born. I’ve been with her every step of the way. I’ve since remarried, and my new wife fully embraced her. My daughter calls her “mommy.” She is the greatest joy in my life, and she deserves a loving, happy family. I supposed it would have been well within my rights to walk away when I found out, but there’s no way I could’ve done that. I feel for anyone who ever has to receive this gut punch.