Dating as a single person can be tough. There will be times when misses happen more often than hits with those you meet. You encounter people who aren’t a good fit, either because they didn’t meet your standards or because they raised one of your red flags.
For this list, we’re focusing on the latter reason. A Reddit thread from a while back drew a flood of responses from men about their biggest dating dealbreakers. Some of them touched on the usuals, such as judgmental behavior and inciting drama. Others were more shallow with their answers.
Gents, if you want to join in on the conversation, feel free to do so in the comment boxes below.
#1
When they're rude to dining staff and other customer service people (but usually dining staff), it's a HUGE turnoff for me.
35points
#2
An inability to have a conversation.
I can't tell you how many times I have done all the talking on the date. I try to ask questions and am met with three word responses. "It's alright", "Yea, its a job" etc.
I can't tell you how many times I have done all the talking on the date. I try to ask questions and am met with three word responses. "It's alright", "Yea, its a job" etc.
33points
#3
Someone who needs to tear others down in order to feel good about herself.
32points
#4
People who don't communicate problems they have. Biggest example for me are people who don't like me doing something but don't tell me and the only way I find out is a few months later when they flip their stuff about it, like they bottled their problem up and finally let loose.
For example I had an ex who hated it when I kissed their neck. Never said a word to me, but looked uncomfortable sometimes, I'd ask what's wrong and they would say nothing... About three months later they went batshit on me for it. I never knew. They never told me.
Bottom line is, us guys aren't telepathic, if we are doing something you don't like, tell us!
For example I had an ex who hated it when I kissed their neck. Never said a word to me, but looked uncomfortable sometimes, I'd ask what's wrong and they would say nothing... About three months later they went batshit on me for it. I never knew. They never told me.
Bottom line is, us guys aren't telepathic, if we are doing something you don't like, tell us!
30points
#5
Playing mind games / doing tests, etc.
I have absolutely zero tolerance towards those. If I spot a potential candidate doing that, I immediately lose a lot of respect towards him/her and become suspicious. The second time I see him/her trying to pull off some kind of similar stuff, it's time for goodbyes.
I'm looking for someone trustworthy and with whom I can be at ease. Not someone who tries to provoke a fight every day.
I have absolutely zero tolerance towards those. If I spot a potential candidate doing that, I immediately lose a lot of respect towards him/her and become suspicious. The second time I see him/her trying to pull off some kind of similar stuff, it's time for goodbyes.
I'm looking for someone trustworthy and with whom I can be at ease. Not someone who tries to provoke a fight every day.
29points
#7
If she likes to post every little detail on social media.
24points
#8
When she calls you stupid. Hurts really bad. I didn't grow up the smartest kid, but I successfully graduated high school with a 2.9. My father always brought me down, calling me stupid, and when a girl says I'm stupid, dumb, etc, it just really breaks me down.
23points
#9
Non stop checking of the phone. I don't mind it here and there, take a call if it's important, but if I never have your attention then it's a problem.
22points
#10
Having no interest in anything. I don't care if you love makeup and talk to me for hours about it, but seeing someone be so passionate about something is amazing. I love movies and could talk about my favorites for hours. I just want to see an interest in what makes you, you.
21points
#11
Refusing to ever be wrong. Lying. Not appreciating things done specifically for them. Trying to make me jealous (I won't be, be with me or not, her choice.) Being lazy, boring, and unintelligent.
21points
#12
Women who carry 'purse dogs' around.
18points
#13
These are basically memes at the moment but they still apply,
* if you want something you have to ask, but make sure you know roughly what you want. I don't want to suggest ten different films/restaurants/activities while getting the "not that one but you still pick" answer
* don't play the "its's fine" card, I used to care enough to find out what is wrong but now I just play video games and let you stew in your own bitterness
* as an extension of the above don't jokingly pretend things aren't fine because I get confused and ignore you when it actually isn't fine. Imagine you'd trained a dog to sit on command and rewarded it with treats, then one day you thought it would be funny to hit the dog whenever it sat, don't then act all confused when the dog won't sit anymore
* learn how to enjoy yourself without me, I have my hobbies and you need yours. I play sports twice a week and want to dedicate a full evening to my painting too, find something to do yourself because it isn't my fault you're bored.
* if you want something you have to ask, but make sure you know roughly what you want. I don't want to suggest ten different films/restaurants/activities while getting the "not that one but you still pick" answer
* don't play the "its's fine" card, I used to care enough to find out what is wrong but now I just play video games and let you stew in your own bitterness
* as an extension of the above don't jokingly pretend things aren't fine because I get confused and ignore you when it actually isn't fine. Imagine you'd trained a dog to sit on command and rewarded it with treats, then one day you thought it would be funny to hit the dog whenever it sat, don't then act all confused when the dog won't sit anymore
* learn how to enjoy yourself without me, I have my hobbies and you need yours. I play sports twice a week and want to dedicate a full evening to my painting too, find something to do yourself because it isn't my fault you're bored.
17points
#14
Clinginess. Personal space & time is necessary.
16points
#15
Excessive neediness. If you constantly demand that I drop everything to cater to your wants, regardless of my needs; then I demand that you GTFO.
16points
#17
Me: "What do you want to do?" Her: "I don't know. You decide."
I'm not sure there's a bigger turn-off to me than this. Even if she doesn't know, but at least offers something that moves a discussion forward. I have been tempted a few times to get up and leave when I get this response. I'm all for doing things the other person likes/wants to make that other person happy. But this response always seems so passive and lazy.
I'm not sure there's a bigger turn-off to me than this. Even if she doesn't know, but at least offers something that moves a discussion forward. I have been tempted a few times to get up and leave when I get this response. I'm all for doing things the other person likes/wants to make that other person happy. But this response always seems so passive and lazy.
15points
#18
Can't spell. This is generally a good gauge of many other things. Probably don't read very well either. Big turn off.
The only other thing I can think of that isn't too specific is when a woman sets expectations very high. Having high hopes and expecting someone you just met to fit a mold cast in your mind are two different things. The point of dating is to meet someone you don't know and see if they could add to your life. Trying to dictate who and how they will be isn't realistic.
The only other thing I can think of that isn't too specific is when a woman sets expectations very high. Having high hopes and expecting someone you just met to fit a mold cast in your mind are two different things. The point of dating is to meet someone you don't know and see if they could add to your life. Trying to dictate who and how they will be isn't realistic.
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15points
#20
Even the slightest hint of infidelity.
I don't put up with cheating, I don't cheat. Emotional cheating, physical cheating, all of it.
The difference here though is not me making rules about infidelity, but the girl I'm with needs to WANT TO and be okay with saying 'sorry I'm taken' when asked for her number, she has to want to not engage in old flings (unless it's occasional and totally platonic).
It's a whole attitude that she won't cheat, and this all comes from them being ready to accept a serious relationship.
I don't put up with cheating, I don't cheat. Emotional cheating, physical cheating, all of it.
The difference here though is not me making rules about infidelity, but the girl I'm with needs to WANT TO and be okay with saying 'sorry I'm taken' when asked for her number, she has to want to not engage in old flings (unless it's occasional and totally platonic).
It's a whole attitude that she won't cheat, and this all comes from them being ready to accept a serious relationship.
14points