Being a guy can be tough, that’s why it’s important to reflect on the positives in life. With over 1.2M followers of @DudesPostingWs, it’s clear that many feel the same way. The page shares wins from men of all ages and walks of life. Whether it’s a little everyday one or a massive accomplishment, they’re all worth celebrating.
But it can be difficult for men to do this sometimes. It’s not that they don’t feel anything—men simply struggle to put their thoughts into words. Talking about emotions (good ones or bad ones) can seem like an effort and many refuse to open up.
Although it seems like a stereotype that men just can’t talk about their feelings, we need to look into why this is. After all, stereotypes come from people perpetuating the same belief over and over again. Many researchers and psychologists have made it their study to find out why this idea is so ingrained in our culture.
On this, the psychotherapist and author Daphne Rose Kingma said, "We've dismissed men as the feelingless gender—we've given up on them. Because of the way boys are socialized, their ability to deal with emotions has been systematically undermined. Men are taught, point-by-point, not to feel, not to cry, and not to find words to express themselves."
It is learned behavior, not something that is natural to men, or any person for that matter. In fact, research was completed looking at men’s emotional capability whilst still in infancy. Their results found that men are just as capable of expressing themselves emotionally, if not more so than women (at least in their early years).
And boys are shaped from very early on in life about what it means to be a “man”. How many times have we heard that “big boys don’t cry”, or the expression “man up”. The word itself has become loaded with connotations of being unwavering and unflinching—showing no emotions or weaknesses.
Men are not some Terminator-type of machines, incapable of feeling anything. Their emotions are as deep as a river but we can only see what’s on the surface, not into their depths. That’s why it seems like a dam bursting when men finally open up about how they’re feeling, and often not in a good way.
