“You Don’t Realize That Until It’s Too Late”: 30 Signs That Somebody Is Not Okay

To gain more insight into this topic, Bored Panda got in touch with Lau Ciocan. Lau is a TEDx speaker and the Founder of Mentoring Advocacy Network (MAN), a platform raising awareness on men's mental health and healthy masculinities through public speaking, webinars, and The Mentality Podcast. He was nominated for the Future Leader Award, and MAN was shortlisted for the Best Men's Health Initiative by the InsideOut Awards in 2023 and 2024.

When it comes to the common signs of mental health struggles to look out for, Lau says, "It's important to bear in mind that the signs of mental health challenges might differ from person to person and we might miss them in some people who 'camouflage' or 'mask' their struggles well."

"The signs that might fall under the radar and need a closer look could be someone experiencing hyper-productivity, irregular sleep patterns or eating habits. However, some of the more evident signs of struggle include the overall change in behavior and personality, gradual and progressive distance from loved ones, increased levels of fatigue, or lack of motivation and enthusiasm," the expert added.

As for what we should do when we notice these behaviors, Lau says it depends on the relationship one has with the person experiencing mental health challenges. "We don't know what this person is going through, so the first step one can take is to approach the situation with compassion and sensitivity and ask open questions that allow the person to open up," he shared. "And if they do, one should listen attentively and without judgment."

"I would also say that one should assess for risk of suicide or harm, and if serious contact the relevant professional services," the mental health expert added. "In parallel, one should encourage the person to get the appropriate professional help and offer assistance and support in doing so."

But it's important to address these concerns, because Lau says noticing the signs early on can ultimately save someone’s life. "Reaching out and offering support may prevent further struggle and increased risk of harm or even suicide," he noted. "At times, your loved one may be unaware of the impact of their poor mental health, on themselves or you. Constructively sharing your concerns may enlighten them and encourage them to seek the appropriate help."

"Anyone can be affected by poor mental health; we all have bad days. However, creating healthy lifestyle patterns can contribute to maintaining a positive mindset," Lau added. "Some good tips to do this include: setting time aside for self-care, like going for a walk in a park or nature, journaling or spending time on a hobby; sleeping for at least 7 hours a night; eating well, and drinking plenty of water; exercising regularly, whether it’s going to the gym or a 20-minute walk; prioritizing a balance between work and life; and always share your feelings with those you trust."

We were also lucky enough to get in touch with registered psychotherapist and life coach Krista Roesler from Psych Company, who discussed this topic with Bored Panda as well.

"Common signs of mental health struggles that people might not be aware of or know to look for include changes in behavior, personality, or emotional expression," the expert shared. "For instance, someone who used to openly share their feelings might become more quiet and distant, while someone who was previously very excitable may become unusually calm. Similarly, a person who was kind and caring might start acting unkind, and someone who seemed sad might appear outwardly content."

"Other signs include emotional distancing from people and activities they once enjoyed, leading to increased isolation from others and a loss of interest in hobbies or work," Krista continued. "They might also experience physical symptoms such as headaches, body aches, or upset stomachs."

"Changes in sleeping patterns are another important indicator. Look for signs such as sleeping too much, too little, experiencing insomnia, or persistent fatigue," the expert says. "Additionally, certain risk factors can signal underlying issues, including financial problems, legal troubles, trauma, chronic pain, health issues, relationship problems, or substance abuse."

Krista noted that some other concerning signs to be aware of are: "expressing feelings of guilt, shame, or hopelessness; neglecting personal hygiene and abandoning healthy habits, such as a balanced diet and regular exercise; being less attentive to medication schedules and failing to manage chronic health conditions, like diabetes; showing indifference toward declining performance at work or school; increasingly avoiding social situations without a clear reason; heightened use of alcohol or worsening drug abuse; engaging in reckless behaviors, such as unsafe driving; and making unusual purchases, like items that could be used for self-harm, which aren’t typically needed."

We also asked Krista what we should do if we notice any of these concerning behaviors in loved ones. "If you're concerned someone might be suicidal, start by expressing your worry gently and directly, such as saying, 'I’ve noticed you’ve been struggling a lot lately, and I’m really worried about you,'" she told Bored Panda. "Create a safe space for them to share their feelings without judgment, and encourage them to seek help from a mental health professional."

"If necessary, ask directly if they’re thinking about suicide—it’s important to discuss these thoughts openly. Offer practical support, like helping them find resources or accompanying them to appointments," the expert continued. "Develop a safety plan together, remove means for self-harm if possible, and maintain regular contact to combat isolation. If there’s immediate risk, contact emergency services right away. Lastly, educate yourself about mental health to better support them and ensure they get the professional help they need."

As for why it's so important to be on the lookout for these behaviors, Krista says it's sometimes the people you least expect who are struggling the most. "There have been cases where someone you would never suspect was struggling with mental health issues has wanted to end their life," she noted. "People can often disguise their mental health struggles very well. Highly successful and educated individuals often show reluctance to seek mental health help."