You don’t have to love your in-laws to have a happy, healthy, successful marriage. But if you know that spending time around your partner’s parents sends your blood pressure through the roof, it might be wise to limit your interactions with them.
When this woman found out that her in-laws would be visiting for a month, she was less than thrilled. But when her mother-in-law finally revealed what she really thought of their marriage, that was the final straw. Below, you’ll find the full story this mom shared on Reddit to vent, as well as some of the advice readers left for her.
This woman's mother-in-law has always made it clear that she's not a huge fan of hers
Image credits: Julia M Cameron / Pexels (not the actual photo)
But she was appalled when her husband's mom revealed her thoughts on their marriage
Image credits: Vitaly Gariev / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Polina Zimmerman / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: honey222bunny
Image credits: jet-po / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The majority of married couples have had issues with an in-law at one point or another
When you get engaged, you might feel like you’re living in a fairy tale. You know that you’re going to spend the rest of your life with the person you love more than anything, and you finally get the chance to plan the wedding of your dreams. But as we all know, life is a bit more complicated than that. And every situation will have some downsides.
In the case of getting married, those downsides might be your in-laws. Hating your in-laws is an extremely common trope in films and television shows, but that stereotype is rooted in reality. According to a 2022 study, both men and women report having more conflicts with their mothers-in-law than with their own moms.
At the same time, moms say they have more issues with their daughters-in-law than with their own daughters. Psychologist Terri Apter has also found through her research that 60% of married women admit that the relationship they have with their mother-in-law causes them distress.
Two-thirds of married women also believe that their husband’s mom exhibits jealous, maternal love towards her son. And while three-quarters of couples say they’ve had issues with an in-law, only 15% of mother-in-law/son-in-law relationships are seen as tense.
As far as why there’s so much drama between the women in each family, the BBC notes that it might have something to do with child-rearing. Because moms usually take on the lion’s share of childcare, tension might arise over exactly how to do things.
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
You can't expect a toxic mother-in-law to change her ways
Mom and Grandma might disagree on what the best parenting methods are, and each might assume their preferred method is superior. The mother-in-law might feel entitled to share her thoughts even when they’re unwelcome, and her daughter-in-law might not be comfortable setting boundaries with her husband’s mother.
Dealing with an overbearing mother-in-law is never going to be easy, but because it’s so common, ChoosingTherapy has some helpful advice. First, they recommend communicating openly with your partner about the issue. Be gentle, of course, because you are talking about their mother. But be clear about what exactly is bothering you.
It’s also important to set realistic expectations about your mother-in-law’s behavior. She’s not going to change overnight, and she might not ever acknowledge that she’s done anything wrong. Understand that you probably won’t get exactly the resolution you want.
When your mother-in-law tries to play the victim card, don’t fall for it. And if she says something that hurts your feelings, try not to take it personally. At the end of the day, her behavior says much more about herself than it does about you. Try to be gentle with yourself, and let her comments roll off your back.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. How would you have responded if you were in the author’s shoes? Then, if you’re interested in reading another article from Bored Panda featuring conflicts between in-laws, look no further than right here.
Readers gave the author a reality check and shared advice on how to move forward
