It's not unusual for families to go on vacation together. Of course, that doesn't happen often, but people still choose to go on holiday with extended family members. In fact, according to the 2022 US Family Travel Survey, 46% of Americans take vacations with family members beyond just parents and in-laws.
These in-laws, however, invited themselves to a couple's vacation. Even after being told a resounding "no," the parents wouldn't admit they're not welcome. So, the couple had no other choice but to change their plans without telling the in-laws. And, as expected, mother-in-law drama followed their decision.
A couple planned the perfect vacation for themselves, but their in-laws also invited themselves
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
So, the couple had no other choice but to change the plan, this time without telling the in-laws
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Bride1234109
Vacations with in-laws can work, but they have to be invited first
Image credits: S'well / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Maintaining a good relationship with your in-laws is hard as it is. Studies show that 75% of couples have a difficult relationship with their in-laws. A holiday might be the perfect chance to run away from all that drama; yet, the couple in this story weren't so lucky.
In itself, a vacation with in-laws isn't anything to fear. The demographic that finds trips with in-laws the most advantageous is couples with children. As Kris Ann Valdez writes for Business Insider from personal experience, grandparents can be the best built-in babysitters. Traveling with extended family can also be cheaper, strengthen familial bonds, and allow grandparents to spend more time with their grandchildren.
But what if there are no children? What if it's just the couple? If they don't get along with the in-laws in a natural setting, a vacation isn't going to change anything. As marriage and family therapist Anne Ziff explained to the Washington Post, "The point of a vacation is get away from the stresses of life. If you really don’t get along, don’t travel together."
Professor of human development at Cornell University, Carl Pillemer, goes even further to say that in-laws are not, in the case of this story, part of the wife's family. Still, even if she doesn't like her in-laws, she at least feels great pressure to get along with them.
A few tips on how to survive a vacation with in-laws
Vacations with a group of people can be difficult as it is: different expectations, different budgets, and different preferences. But when part of that group is your in-laws, the trip might become even more difficult.
A few holidays or special events a year with in-laws are sometimes just inevitable. But one family blogger, Jackie, has some advice on how to make it through a trip with in-laws an come out unscathed:
- Make a plan ahead of the trip. Talk about things like who will be responsible for cooking, cleaning up, what activities you'll want to do, and what the quiet times are going to be.
- Pick a neutral vacation spot. Don't just piggyback on somebody else's vacation like the in-laws did in this story. Make sure that both families want to go there and that neither side covers the accommodation alone. That way, if the in-laws pay for the hotel, the couple may feel pressured to adhere to their rules and schedules.
- Do activities separately. Bonding is great, but alone time is also crucial, especially on vacation. Let the in-laws enjoy a spa day while the couple goes kayaking or surfing.
- Be prepared for disagreements. Arming yourself with patience is a prerequisite for vacations with in-laws. Still, try to be as understanding as you can and find common ground.
- Do regular family meetings. Take time to communicate what's working and what's not working; let everyone express their thoughts. It can be a great way to prevent misunderstandings.
The couple decided to limit contact with their in-laws after the incident: "MIL and FIL have been placed on a complete info diet"
The woman also posted an update directly from their vacation: "We're on board and having a blast!"
Image credits: Bride1234109
