The subreddit r/JUSTNOMIL is a place for people to vent about their mother-in-law's nasty, cruel, and toxic actions.
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A woman who goes on the platform by YoureKiddingRight99 thought she'd never end up there since the relationship she had with her husband's mom was pretty good.
But everything changed after she agreed to babysit a friend's child. What started as a simple favor quickly spiraled into a full-blown CPS investigation, complete with shocking accusations and an even more shocking motive behind them.
Some mother-in-law stories go way beyond family drama
Image credits: GSR-PhotoStudio/Envato (not the actual photo)
This woman says hers called CPS to stop her from "ending the bloodline"
Image credits: Wavebreakmedia/Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: LightFieldStudios/Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: YoureKiddingRight99
It's important to note that such animosity between mother- and daughter-in-laws is by no means the norm
The book In-law Relationships: Mothers, Daughters, Fathers, and Sons included a survey and interview responses from more than 1,500 people and found that only about 15% of MILs and DILs had a really troubled time getting along. More than half felt good about their bond. Still, there were some differences in how they viewed each other:
- 33% of MILs strongly agreed the two were close, compared to 18% of DILs;
- 42% strongly agreed they admired their daughters-in-law, but only 23% of the younger women felt the same way about their husband's mother;
- 37% strongly agreed they enjoyed spending time together, compared to 22% of DILs;
- 50% strongly agreed they trusted their daughters-in-law, but only 23% of the younger women felt the same way about their mothers-in-law.
Co-author of the book, Geoffrey Greif, Ph.D., who is a distinguished professor at the University of Maryland School of Social Work, said that he did observe interference in the marriage and child-rearing from the mother-in-law to be the main concern from the daughter-in-law's perspective.
Image credits: sedrik2007/Envato (not the actual photo)
More than half of the daughters-in-law (52%) strongly disagreed or disagreed that they had the same parenting philosophy as their mothers-in-law.
According to the professor, the goal in these situations is to figure out a way to stay connected, and he recommended that DILs reframe the interference as love, concern, and a wish to be engaged.
However, it can be difficult to find common ground when your in-law is willing to go behind your back to sabotage your family plans.
Psychologist and author of Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties & How to Heal the Conflict Dr. Joshua Coleman believes grandparents (to be) need to understand that, ultimately, the decisions about how to raise their children belong to the parents.
"Remember that your child's spouse is now the gatekeeper to any relationship you might have with your child or grandchildren. You might not like whom [your child] married, and they might not be that crazy about you. But failing to handle these dynamics with care only brings more conflict, distance, and pain. It limits the possibility of seeing your child and grandchildren again. And it makes a potentially resolvable situation impossible to resolve," Coleman explained.
Actively acting against her son's wife, the lady isn't helping but damaging the bond she has with her remaining "bloodline."
As her story went viral, the woman answered some of the most frequent questions people had for her
While the reactions ranged from disbelief to outrage
