It's common for parents to pay for their children's weddings. According to The Knot Real Weddings Study, the couple pays about 48% of the wedding expenses, and the parents cover the remaining 52%. But there's a downside to letting parents pay for your wedding: they might feel entitled to plan the wedding to their liking.
This woman's mother-in-law planned to arrive at the wedding venue so she could change the decorations. She and her husband even took a 12-hour drive with six boxes' worth of decorations. However, Mother Nature sided with the newlyweds and served the in-laws a winter storm that stopped them in their tracks.
A couple's in-laws drove for 12 hours to change the wedding decorations to the MIL's liking
Image credits: Darya Sannikova / pexels (not the actual photo)
However, Mother Nature said, "Nope," and stopped them from making it in time
Image credits: ira_lichi / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: polga2 / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: NewBet7377
The mother-in-law has a history of entitled behavior, as the bride has detailed in her other posts
Image credits: kkris31 / reddit (not the actual photo)
If the MIL's behavior in this story seems unacceptable, wait until you read about other things she and her husband did. In a now-year-old post, u/NewBet7377 wrote about how the in-laws made a scene at her and her then-future husband's rehearsal dinner.
The Redditor prefaced the story by explaining how her husband has had a fear of Chucky, the doll, since childhood. Knowing that, his mother and her side of the family decided to make fun of him by wearing T-shirts with the character and his bride from the 1998 movie, Bride of Chucky.
"I was basically pushed out of the way by these people so they could force my DH to take a picture with them," the bride wrote. "DH looked uncomfortable and shocked. I definitely looked angry and wasn't quiet about my opinions while talking to my friends about how rude it was."
"I literally needed to leave after that for 20 minutes to calm down. My friends were all horrified for us and DH was beside himself," the bride added. Other family members apologized to the couple after the husband confronted them, but the in-laws never did.
The bad blood between the bride and the MIL continued into the digital space. u/NewBet7377 described how her mother-in-law used to post nasty things about her. So much so that the Redditor decided to go off social media altogether to protect her mental health. Another time, the MIL accused her daughter-in-law of "tearing apart [her] family" on her son's birthday.
Just two months ago, when the Redditor's husband was supposed to get a promotion from the military, the MIL tried to get into the ceremony when her son didn't want her there. Luckily, she wasn't able to, but still caused a lot of stress for the couple.
Aside from the occasional passive-aggressive text message, the couple tries not to engage with their toxic in-laws. "I'm back to enjoying the silent treatment," u/NewBet7377 wrote in one of her latest posts. "I have no regrets and don't plan to engage further with any drama. I guess we are at a point of celebrating success for keeping them far away from us."
Some parents who pay for the wedding might think they have control over planning decisions
Image credits: vasilij33 / freepik (not the actual photo)
Parents paying for a couple's wedding may only seem like an outdated tradition. Even today, the majority of couples have their parents covering the bigger portion of the wedding costs. As wedding planner Nancy Park told Brides recently, "about 30 to 40 percent of our couples have parents contribute to the wedding day, and some pay for most or all of it."
Some parents, like the in-laws in this story, may believe that paying for your child's wedding comes with strings attached. Experts recommend discussing this before the wedding planning goes into motion.
Etiquette expert Lucy Hume told Hitched that it's reasonable for parents to expect they have some say in how the wedding will look since they most likely invested a considerable sum of money in it.
Essentially, Hume recommends picking your battles: let your in-laws be in charge of the part of the wedding they're funding directly. If they're contributing to the whole thing, make small compromises. For example, when it comes to the dress, invite the MIL to the fitting, but don't let her control the whole outfit. Let her pick the jewelry, the veil, or some other tiny detail.
Apply this logic to the rest of the planning: the catering, the guest list, the cake, and the venue. If the in-laws aren't able to accept these small wins, remind them that it's your special day, not theirs.
Also, don't always assume the worst. Perhaps the parents or in-laws have good intentions but just don't know how to go about it the right way. "You might be surprised by the level of involvement your parents expect to have, but remember that this is most likely because they are excited and happy for you," Lucy Hume says.
"If I could go back in time, I'd turn down their 'support' and elope," the bride added
Commenters called out the MIL for her crazy behavior: "That's so entitled and rude!"
