Mother’s Day is a time for flowers and thoughtful cards. For most moms, it's a heartwarming celebration of love and parenting. But what if one of your kids’ spouses believes they, too, should be honored for raising poodles?
Well, that’s exactly what happened to today's Original Poster (OP), who sent out sweet gift baskets to her kids who were either parents or expecting. However, the one who didn’t get a basket because her "kids" are dogs, was not having it.
More info: Reddit
Sometimes, the hardest part about 'Mother's Day' isn’t about who is a mother—it’s about who wants to be seen as one
Image credits: ANTONI SHKRABA production / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The author sent Mother’s Day gift baskets to her children’s partners who were new or expecting mothers, but excluded her daughter-in-law who struggled with infertility
Image credit: InitialSong2898
Image credits: George Dolgikh / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The daughter-in-law who considered her dogs as her "kids" was hurt and demanded a basket
Image credit: InitialSong2898
Image credits: Blue Bird / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The author, in turn, told her she believes Mother’s Day should honor women raising human children, which led to the daughter-in-law cursing her out
Image credit: InitialSong2898
Her son then insisted that she apologize to his wife, and that she must also send a gift basket to her
The OP simply wanted to do something thoughtful for Mother’s Day. With her three grown children all busy and starting families of their own, she sent festive gift baskets to her daughter who had just had a child and her daughter-in-law who was expecting. However, she also had a daughter-in-law who was struggling with infertility, so she didn't send a basket to her.
It happened that her daughter, having received her own basket, sent a message in the family group chat to thank the OP for the gift basket. Her daughter-in-law who was expecting did the same thing, and that was when she received a call from the other daughter-in-law whom she sent nothing to.
She started by asking her where her Mother’s Day basket was, confusing the OP because she began to think the daughter-in-law was pregnant. However, she had been referring to her dogs. Now, the OP remembered that the daughter-in-law had always mentioned that her pet dogs were her children, but the OP always thought she meant it jokingly.
The OP then explained that Mother’s Day was for women raising human children, not pets, but the daughter-in-law didn't take it well. She got upset, cursed her out and insisted she deserved the same recognition as the others, stating that her two dogs were her "first grandkids."
The OP stood her ground, saying that while she loved her daughter-in-law, she didn't believe pets were the same as children, and now her son is pushing her to apologize, asking her to send over a belated gift basket to smooth things over.
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Lovingly explains that Mother’s Day is meant to honor and appreciate mothers, grandmothers, and maternal figures for their sacrifices and unwavering support. However, the holiday can be emotionally complex for women who haven’t been able to have children.
For those struggling with infertility, they acknowledge that the day can bring up a strong desire to be acknowledged and seen. The need for emotional validation becomes especially important in these cases, as it highlights how deeply people want their experiences and identities to be recognized, even if they don’t fit traditional definitions of motherhood.
According to Forbes, many people turn to pet parenting for reasons that go beyond simple companionship. For some, caring for animals satisfies a deep desire for parenthood, especially when human parenting isn’t possible or desired. On a biological level, pet ownership has been shown to significantly improve mental health, offering emotional support and stability.
Life Milieu provides some insight to being excluded or left of from rituals like gift-giving. This kind of rejection activates the same areas in the brain associated with physical pain, making the experience feel genuinely distressing. They explain that it threatens our need to belong and can leave us feeling ungrounded and socially disconnected, and can harm self-esteem and identity.
Netizens were sympathetic to the daughter-in-law’s infertility struggles, even though most agreed that the OP wasn’t necessarily wrong. They pointed out that Mother’s Day can be especially painful for someone surrounded by expectant and new mothers, and that it would have been a nice gesture to include her somehow, even if not with a full gift basket.
What do you think about this situation? If you were the OP, would you have sent a gift to your daughter-in-law? We would love to know your thoughts!
Netizens maintained that the author wasn't necessarily wrong, but that it wouldn't have hurt if she had also sent her something to acknowledge her in some way
