Having a dog around can be very fun if you like dogs. If you don't, well, then it's likely not as pleasant. While sometimes this dislike is simply for no reason, there are cases where it stems from legitimate causes like allergies or fear. The worst a dog owner can do in this case is to force a person to be near their pet.
That's exactly what the OP's mother-in-law constantly does. To make matters worse, she justifies it by claiming it's her emotional support animal. Interestingly, she never trained the pet for that role, which only deepened the fight with her daughter-in-law.
More info: Mumsnet
If you're not a fan of dogs, having one around can be quite an unpleasant experience
Image credits: Alexandra Mazzola / Pexels (not the actual photo)
A woman's mother-in-law has a dog that she calls her emotional support animal, even though it isn't officially trained for that
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The woman dislikes the dog not only because it's untrained but also because she’s afraid of it and allergic to it
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
This year, the woman was set to host a Christmas party at her home, so she asked her mom-in-law to not bring over her dog, but she refused
Image credits: Moreacatperson
This led to the woman canceling the party and telling the mother-in-law that from that point on she was not allowed in their home
The post’s author is scared of dogs. Experts think that this phobia comes from a mix of genetics, personal history, and environment. People with mental illnesses like anxiety are more prone to have it, especially if they've had a scary experience with a dog or another animal.
Besides the phobia, the OP has an allergy to dogs. Typically, this allergy has symptoms of swelling and itching of the eyes and nose, redness or rashes on skin touched or licked by a dog, shortness of breath, or even an asthma attack after being in contact with a pet. Quite unpleasant, right?
So, it’s no surprise the woman doesn’t want a dog in her house. The problem is that her mother-in-law has one she calls her “emotional support animal” (ESA). These animals provide emotional support (hence the name), companionship, and comfort to a person struggling with serious mental health illnesses.
At least in the United States, an ESA isn’t considered a service animal. What is considered is that it can be any type of animal, as long as it’s manageable in public.
The author’s mom-in-law doesn’t go anywhere without her dog, stating she can’t be apart from it. This fact causes tension in their family. First, it’s the fact that the original poster has a phobia and allergy; thus, as we already said, she doesn’t want it at her home.
Secondly, the dog isn’t trained, and remember what we said about an ESA having to be manageable in public? Funnily enough, this reason also applies to why the MIL doesn’t want to leave it home alone, as it tends to be quite destructive since it doesn’t have a crate.
The OP added that she views this dog as a spoiled fur baby labeled as an emotional support dog, even though it isn’t one. Apparently, the mother-in-law only got a vest that indicates that, but the dog itself isn’t recognized or even trained as one.
Image credits: Samson Katt / Pexels (not the actual photo)
So, you see, there's quite some tension. This brings us to the Christmas party the OP was meant to host. She expressed that she didn’t want the dog at it, which caused the MIL to say that the OP simply could take antihistamines – medicine to relieve symptoms of allergy.
Except the woman didn’t want to take medicine for a situation that could be easily avoided by her mom-in-law leaving the dog at home, which isn’t that far away from her son’s house. But the MIL didn’t budge. So, the original poster decided to cancel the party. After all, it wasn’t last minute, so everyone would be able to find alternative arrangements.
Plus, she banned the husband’s mom from coming over at all. Now, she says if the woman wants to meet up with her son or grandchild, she can do it at her house or somewhere else that isn’t their home.
After this, the author came on Mumsnet to ask whether she went too far. As the blog’s poll showed, most of the people didn’t think so. The comments showed that too. Folks were praising the woman for standing up for herself.
A few were worried about the MIL’s mental state – for them it seemed that she might need more support than just a dog. Still, it doesn’t mean she’s entitled to make her daughter-in-law sick by bringing a dog she’s allergic to. After all, these symptoms aren’t only unpleasant – they can be dangerous to her health. For instance, prolonged exposure to the allergen can cause chronic airway inflammation.
There's a saying that a dog is a person's best friend, but in this case, it doesn't quite apply, as it's more the source of family drama. Well, it’s sad seeing a family fight over that, especially when there are people who are being too stubborn to reason with. We hope that one day they’ll be able to find a way to overcome these troubles. And if they don’t, at least the woman was able to stand up to her MIL and not let her walk all over her.
Most people online praised the woman for standing up to her husband's mom, while others questioned why she is so insistent on taking the dog everywhere
