Having your mom abandon you as a child and growing up in foster care can cause some pretty serious issues down the line. You might struggle to trust people, suffer from anxiety or depression, get caught up in unhealthy relationships, question your self-worth, and more. Research also shows that once a child ages out of the system, they have a one-in-four chance of experiencing homelessness within four years.
One woman was lucky enough to marry the love of her life after growing up in the system. Kat was hoping that this also meant she'd finally have the chance to have a loving mom. But her husband's mother wants none of it. She refuses to let her daughter-in-law call her mom. Things reached breaking point recently when the MIL snapped and swore at Kat for trying to get too close. The mother-in-law has shared her side of the story...
When a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law both have "mommy issues," things can get complicated fast
Image credits: LightFieldStudios / Envato (not the actual photo)
In this case, one wants the mom she never had, while the other doesn't want a daughter who isn't really hers
Image credits: SkloStudio / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Slow_throwaway_8233
"Mothers be good to your daughters": mommy issues explained
“Daddy Issues” have been spoken about widely. Movies have been made. Books have been written. John Mayer even sang about them in Daughters. "Fathers, be good to your daughters. Daughters will love like you do," he crooned. But Mayer also sent a warning to moms: "Girls become lovers who turn into mothers. So, mothers, be good to your daughters too."
While “Mommy Issues” seem to get less attention than their counterparts, it doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
“Mommy issues refer to problems forming or maintaining healthy adult relationships, due to a person’s insecure or unhealthy relationship with their mother or another female figure in their childhood,” explains Medical News Today.
And it would seem both the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in this story have their fair share of “mommy issues.”
The one was abandoned as a child. The other abandoned her own mother as an adult. We can see how the two personalities might clash when the subject of “mom” comes up.
"The presence, comfort, and care a child receives from their primary caregivers during their formative years have a significant impact on their well-being and development," notes the site.
It has long been proven that mothers play a vital role in a child’s development. They are, after all, the ones who carry, birth, and breastfeed babies. So it's understandable that infants generally develop their first attachments with their mothers. And in the case of the daughter-in-law, her mother "ran out on her," leaving her to grow up in the foster care system.
"Any disruption or change in this crucial dynamic between the mother and child can have a lasting impact on the child’s overall well-being and how they form relationships," explains Medical News Today. "As such, having mommy issues can lead to a negative self-image, low levels of trust, and other issues."
"Mommy issues" are directly linked to attachment issues. When someone experiences an insecure, unhealthy, or chaotic relationship with their mother, they could develop an attachment disorder. And if they don't seek help, it can affect how they form and maintain relationships with others.
"I have been so clear": The woman provided more info in the comments
"Block her": many netizens understood why the mother-in-law lost her cool
Some felt that the woman took it too far and should have been more gentle
