Going on a family vacation should be a time when everyone can finally relax. But while adults tend to recharge with some peace and quiet, children usually have a very different idea of fun. More often than not, it involves running around and making a whole lot of noise. At what point does that become too much?
One mom was totally fine with her 4-year-old yelling and shouting at the pool during their holiday. Her husband and mother-in-law, however, teamed up against her and kept trying to quiet the girl down. So she took it to Reddit to ask if she was a jerk for wanting to let her kid be a kid. Read the full story below.
The woman was perfectly fine with her 4-year-old daughter yelling and shouting at the pool, saying she should be allowed to be a kid
Image credits: doumacatherine / Envato (not the actual photo)
Her husband and mother-in-law, however, had a very different opinion, and it led to some awkward family vacation drama
Image credits: Image-Source / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: SimplyPeachy92
We find loud noises irritating, and there’s an evolutionary reason behind it
There is a lot of noise we deal with every single day, from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to sleep. Someone’s mowing the lawn as we head to work. People are talking on the bus during the commute or the radio is blasting in the car. Coworkers are chatting all day during meetings. And it goes on and on. It can be overwhelming.
When a noise becomes too loud, it can actually cause us physical pain. It can also stress us out. And there’s an evolutionary explanation for why.
Essentially, sudden or unpredictable sounds activate the amygdala, the part of your brain responsible for detecting threats. When that kicks in, your body floods with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. Your heart rate goes up and your blood pressure rises. You go into a kind of fight-or-flight mode, even if there’s no actual danger.
From an evolutionary standpoint, this response kept us alive. If you were walking through a forest thousands of years ago and heard a sudden roar or rustling in the bushes, that surge of adrenaline would tell your body to run. It was a survival mechanism.
But even though we don’t deal with predators as regularly as we used to, the wiring in our brains is still the same, which means everyday sounds can stress us out too. Cars honking in bumper-to-bumper traffic will do it. So will a group of kids screaming and splashing around in a pool.
But does that mean we should constantly be telling children to keep it down?
Image credits: Phil Goodwin / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
That question has caused real conflict in communities around the world. In Toronto, a mother received an anonymous letter demanding she “correct” her four sons for screaming outside and keep them under constant supervision.
In Vancouver, a popular playground slide was removed entirely after neighbors complained about the racket. Over in Texas, a family was sued because their neighbors claimed four kids playing in a backyard playhouse violated their “tranquil quality of life.”
And in Amsterdam, a heated debate broke out over whether children should even be allowed to keep using a neighborhood soccer cage.
Katherine Martinko, editor, writer and author of Childhood Unplugged: Practical Advice to Get Kids Off Screens and Find Balance, argues that we need to stop being so hard on kids and actually let them make noise.
She thinks a big part of the problem is how disconnected many adults have become from what childhood actually sounds like. These days, kids spend so much time on phones and tablets that they’re often indoors and not outside as much as previous generations were. When most children are in structured activities or behind screens, even ordinary outdoor play starts to seem disruptive.
But Martinko says that play is essential, and play is loud. Kids yelp and squeal and crash into each other. That’s how they express joy and test their boundaries.
She also points out that adults aren’t held to the same standard. Leaf blowers, barking dogs, construction, and late-night parties are generally accepted as part of daily life. She believes children’s laughter and games deserve that same tolerance.
Of course, there’s a difference between regular noisy play and nonstop screaming, and setting reasonable limits like no shouting early in the morning or late at night is fair. But in Martinko’s view, treating the sound of kids playing like a nuisance is where it becomes a problem.
What do you think? Should this mom’s 4-year-old be allowed to yell and hoot at the pool on vacation? Or should she have listened to her husband and MIL and kept the volume down?
The woman later shared more details in the comments
Many readers felt the mom was in the wrong and agreed that it’s important to teach children manners, even on vacation
Others, however, thought the whole thing wasn’t such a big deal and said kids should be allowed to have fun
