Some expecting parents struggle to choose their future baby’s name until the very last minute. Having to pick from hundreds of different options can be overwhelming and even paralyzing, so they may turn to their family and friends for help. After all, they are the ones who know them the best and can offer meaningful advice and suggestions.
These expectant parents, on the other hand, were happy to have chosen a name for their future daughter by themselves, which meant a lot for both of them. However, the mother-in-law decided to rain on their parade and credit herself for the idea, which the pregnant woman corrected and got blamed for acting ‘tactless.’
Some expectant parents struggle to choose their future baby's name, so they turn to family for help
Image credits: Far-Oven-6023 (not the actual photo)
But these parents picked one completely by themselves, and their MIL still credited herself for it
Image credits: Far-Oven-6023 (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Far-Oven-6023
Even though well-meaning, loved ones can be a big source of stress during pregnancy
During pregnancy, involving family and friends can sometimes be beneficial. But other times they can complicate things and cause stress even without being included. Despite family and friends typically meaning well, their excitement and opinions can sour the whole experience. Unfortunately, the strain caused by all of this can have negative effects on the mom and the baby.
“There is considerable evidence that some forms of stress pose risk for the mother and the baby and the birth itself,” said Christine Dunkel Schetter, PhD, a researcher and professor of psychology and psychiatry at UCLA.
Prolonged stress and anxiety experienced during a pregnancy can result in mental health problems, premature birth and developmental delays, emotional reactivity, or behavior issues for the child. That said, it’s important to keep in mind that feeling stress is a normal part of our lives that is often unavoidable.
“There is no expectation that anyone lives a stress-free life,” says Elizabeth Werner, PhD, a researcher and assistant professor of behavioral medicine in obstetrics and gynecology and psychiatry at Columbia University Medical Center. “That’s just not possible. Some stress in our lives, which we all have, is totally to be expected, and we’re not concerned about it being seriously detrimental to the fetal environment.”
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)
Keeping pregnancy more private helps to avoid unnecessary stress from loved ones
To avoid unnecessary stress for the mom and baby, some expectant parents choose not to ask their loved ones for input on the pregnancy or even try to keep the decisions they have already made private.
Pregnancy is a sensitive time where many boundaries are tested, so keeping it more personal allows parents to regain a little bit of control. “Pregnant women are often asked for ‘bump updates’ and given unsolicited advice, so keeping the baby name private can feel like reclaiming a little intimacy,” says psychotherapist Naomi Magnus. “It’s something just for the parents, a secret to savour before everything becomes everyone’s business.”
It also allows for better emotional regulation, notes licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Lilit Ayrapetyan. “It creates space for the expectant parents to process their own feelings without external pressure or judgment. This approach can reduce anxiety triggered by others’ opinions and protect the parents’ autonomy in making decisions about their pregnancy and parenting. For many, privacy facilitates more authentic bonding with their partner and developing baby.”
Keeping boundaries around pregnancy or maintaining privacy during isn’t always as straightforward or easy as it sounds. Family and friends might not understand parents' need for more space during such an intimate and sensitive time, so some tension or friction might appear between these two parties when parents’ boundaries aren’t respected. In this case, consistency is paramount, says Dr. Ayrapetyan.
“When boundaries are violated, respond with calm, brief reminders of your needs without extensive justification. Creating a simple script like “We’re not sharing those details right now, but we appreciate your interest” can help in repetitive situations. For persistent boundary-crossers, sometimes reducing contact temporarily may be necessary, while explaining this is about your wellbeing during a vulnerable time, not about rejecting them personally.”
Image credits: JÉSHOOTS (not the actual photo)
That said, keeping a pregnancy more private isn't for everyone
However, some couples might realize that keeping their family expansion is not for them, as it can bring potential feelings of isolation and lack of support from loved ones.
“Pregnancy is a time of joy and excitement, and by keeping your pregnancy from others, you may potentially miss opportunities to celebrate and connect with others. Having support from a healthy network of family and friends can lead to better emotional and physical outcomes for both you and your unborn child,” says licensed clinical social worker at Psychology Partners Group, Emily Mudge.
“If you feel yourself slipping into a depression or feeling socially isolated, there are things you can do that might add value and meaning to your life. Prioritize your self-care regimen by doing things that make you feel good and bring you joy. Should you still be experiencing significant distress, contact a licensed mental health professional for professional support.”
Image credits: Helena Lopes (not the actual photo)
The readers believed that the woman was right to call her MIL out
After some time, the woman shared an update:
Image credits: alexlucru123 (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Far-Oven-6023
Even though the situation with MIL was resolved, the commenters still had a lot to say
