Giving birth is an exciting and scary experience all at once, which is why a soon-to-be-mom might want to have someone there with her for moral support.
Content creator Bramty Juliette revealed that she wanted her husband and her mom around when she was welcoming her firstborn into this world. However, things didn’t go quite according to plan. The woman opened up about her experience on a podcast she co-hosts with her husband, the snippet of which was later uploaded on her TikTok account. Scroll down to find the video below.
In their viral video, content creator Bramty Juliette discussed her first childbirth experience with her husband
Image credits: nd3000
"The reason why I really didn't like your mom back then"
Image credits: bramty
"I was giving birth to Penelope and I let his mom be in the room to watch me give birth, which was also a huge issue. 'I don't want your mom in the room. I only want you. I only want you and my mom in the room, you're my husband, and my mom for emotional support.' And he's said, 'I want my mom in the room.'"
“No, it's not about you. It's my mom, like, I want her in the room"
Image credits: bramty
"'No, it's not about you.' And he didn't really understand. She's the one giving birth. And that wasn't the case"
"When you give birth, it's about the wife. She's the one going through things physically, mentally"
Image credits: bramty
"At the moment, like my water breaks, I go to the hospital and it’s my first time giving birth. I'm 19 years old. I'm having contractions. I remember having contractions. And I was like, I'm gonna do birth without an epidural. So I try to push it through as long as I could. And at the time, I was just so focused on, my contractions."
"We had my mom, you, your mom, your brother, and your aunt who I never spoke to in my whole life in the room, watching my birth"
Image credits: bramty
"Interviewer: 'Cause it's Cuban people. They just want to be, involved and think everything's fine. Nothing's taboo, everything's fine.'
He should have had my back then. You should have had my back then. 'All right, Bramty, you're about to give birth. Everybody out. Only what my wife wants.' But you didn't have that mentality and you just had your mom's back most of the time. So I remember I just wasn't even involved with, who was in the room. I remember pushing."
"I remember your mom and your aunt taking pictures of my vagina while I am pushing, then later finding out that your aunt had sent those pictures to family members"
Bramty’s TikTok video attracted over five million views
Having loved ones around during childbirth can make it a more positive experience
Image credits: Jonathan Borba (not the actual photo)
Bramty shared her story of giving birth on the newly-released BRAMTEA podcast that she hosts together with her husband Luis Espina. Previously known from their YouTube channel, titled The Bramfam, the couple discussed how—as Bramty stated in her video description—her mother-in-law ruined her childbirth experience.
The woman said she wanted her husband and her mother to be there in the room with her, which is not an unusual request. The World Health Organization (WHO) emphasized that support coming from the people the expectant mother trusts can help make labor and childbirth a more positive experience. The loved ones can aid her in numerous ways, including facilitating communication between the staff and the mom-to-be, providing practical and emotional support, and assisting with non-pharmacological pain relief methods, among other things.
Having a trustworthy person around can indeed help reduce discomfort, as research shows that there’s a positive correlation between a spouse’s participation in childbirth and pain relief. Moreover, the study pointed out that their presence is beneficial not only for the mother herself, but also for their partner, which is why the majority of spouses say they would participate in subsequent births as well.
Nowadays, quite a few dads are present during the birth of their child but that wasn’t always the case
Image credits: Craig Adderley (not the actual photo)
Positive effects of having a partner present during childbirth might be one of the reasons quite a few expectant mothers want them by their side during such a significant moment. Some research suggests that as much as 85% of women say they would like their husband to be there.
NPR pointed out that even though nowadays seeing fathers in the delivery room is quite common, it wasn’t as usual back in the day. Medical historian Judy Leavitt told NPR that traditionally giving birth was mostly a female event. Even when the births moved from home to the hospital in the 20th century, husbands would typically remain in the waiting rooms. According to the historian, fathers started staying around for the birth of their babies roughly in the ‘70s and ‘80s.
A 2016 study of the birth experience from the perspective of the fathers revealed that their attendance in childbirth had a positive effect on all of the main parties involved—the mother, the newborn, and the dads themselves. According to the study, as much as 94% of them were happy to be present for such an event. However, they admitted to feeling some extent of helplessness and fear as well, in addition being somewhat overwhelmed by the event.
Considering the benefits of having your partner by your side while giving birth, it’s understandable why Bramty wanted her husband around. She also wanted her mother to be there, who is arguably a person she trusts; and according to the World Health Organization, compassion and trustworthiness are two of the main characteristics that pregnant women seek in their companions during childbirth. The content creator might have not felt the same level of connection with her husband’s family. In addition to that, she didn’t appreciate some of their actions, which seemingly shocked quite a few people in the comments as well.
The online community had plenty to say about the situation
Some people shared stories about similar personal experiences
