It’s up to each woman to decide how she wants to give birth. Some prefer to do it at home, others feel safer in a hospital. Some want their whole family there for support, while others would rather be surrounded only by medical staff. There’s no right or wrong way to do it.
But when this Redditor told her mother-in-law she didn’t want her in the delivery room, the woman took it very personally. And once the baby was born, things only got stranger. She went on to accuse her daughter-in-law of faking the entire pregnancy and “buying” the child. Read the full story below.
The woman’s mother-in-law wasn’t happy about being banned from the delivery room
Image credits: George Dagerotip / unsplash (not the actual photo)
So unhappy, in fact, that she decided it meant her daughter-in-law had faked her whole pregnancy and “bought” the baby behind everyone’s back
Image credits: pearl_sapphire
A lot of women already feel overwhelmed during birth so it’s only fair they get to decide who’s there with them
A new baby is an exciting addition to the family. Everyone wants to be involved and celebrate the arrival. But it’s the mother who carries that child for nine months and goes through the physical challenge of bringing them into the world.
Pregnancy and birth can come with serious complications. The physical and emotional toll falls entirely on the woman going through it, so when it comes to deciding how the delivery goes, that choice should be hers alone.
It’s also worth noting that many women already feel like they’re not getting the care and respect they deserve during this time. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 20% of women in the US report experiencing mistreatment while receiving maternity care.
That number climbs to around 30% for Black, Hispanic, and multiracial women. On top of that, almost half of all women say they hold back from asking questions or voicing concerns during their maternity care. All of this shows that pregnancy and delivery can be a very stressful and overwhelming experience.
So it makes sense that a lot of women want the people closest to them by their side when it’s time to give birth. Research from YouGov found that 80% of American women want the father of their child in the delivery room with them. About a third would also like their own mother to be present.
When it comes to mothers-in-law, though, only 7% say they’d want them there. That’s a pretty telling number.
Instead of respecting her daughter-in-law’s wishes the mother-in-law made it all about herself
Image credits: George Dagerotip / unsplash (not the actual photo)
The mother-in-law in this story clearly wasn’t interested in respecting her daughter-in-law’s wishes. She assumed she’d get to be in the delivery room since the husband couldn’t make it, and when she was turned away, she took it very personally. But the daughter-in-law was fully within her rights to make that call.
Dr. Sylvia L. Mikucki-Enyart, a family communication expert who researches in-law relationships, tells TODAY.com that “childbirth is a physically and emotionally vulnerable time, and while yes, it is both of their child, only one of them will be naked, exposed, and pushing a human out of their body—and that person’s wishes supersede everyone else’s.”
She also notes that having extra people around during birth, whether in the room or the waiting area, can create a lot of unnecessary pressure for the mother.
Mikucki-Enyart does acknowledge that in-law dynamics can be tricky to navigate. She encourages mothers-in-law to respect the boundaries their daughters-in-law put in place. She also suggests that daughters-in-law try to recognize that mothers-in-law often just want to feel involved in their adult children’s lives.
Her advice is to “find ways to be inclusive while also upholding boundaries.” That kind of balance takes effort from both sides, but it starts with mutual respect.
Of course, the wildest part of this story is just how far the mother-in-law took things. She went from being upset about getting excluded from the delivery room to building a full conspiracy theory about her daughter-in-law faking her entire pregnancy and purchasing the baby from the hospital.
That’s quite the leap. And it’s pretty hard to find common ground or stay respectful after an accusation like that.
What do you think about this whole situation? How should the woman handle her relationship with her mother-in-law going forward? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Readers agreed that the mother-in-law’s theory made no sense and were shocked she had managed to come up with such a wild accusation in the first place
