The parents of the couple certainly have a role to play at their wedding. However, it's not the center of attention—the spotlight is for the bride and groom. And sadly, not everyone understands this.
A recent post on the subreddit r/CharlotteDobreYouTube tells the story of a mother-in-law who seemed to be incapable of accepting that her son was committing to another woman, and what happened when she tried to make everything about herself. Spoiler alert: it wasn't pretty!
Some moms have a hard time accepting other women into their son's life
Image credits: Darina Belonogova / Pexels (not the actual photo)
And they can cause a lot of unnecessary drama, especially during weddings
This woman even showed up to her son's big day in a sparkly cream gown
Image credits: Kunsulu Saurtaeva / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Luckily, the bridesmaids were ready for her antics
Image credits: Joeyy Lee / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Ariel_lovekittens
Image credits: Ron Lach / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Even the most rational and loving mom can make her child's wedding more difficult than it needs to be
"If you feel that you are in a relationship with someone that you see yourself marrying, it's important to invest time in that relationship with their parents," says licensed marriage and family therapist Lauren Mollica.
"The wedding planning process is just an example of overcoming stress or an obstacle together, and when you are married to someone, there will be bigger things that you will have to come together to tackle. Developing a relationship where sharing feelings is normalized sets really great groundwork."
According to Mollica, most conflicts that arise during wedding planning are not just about the color of the welcome bags or the shape of dessert forks. They arise from deeper things like emotional insecurities and stress.
"Historically, this can be a pivotal time where there might be clashes between how a [person] was raised, family traditions, and moving towards acceptance from the mother-in-law that her [child] will be creating [their] own traditions and priorities," she says.
"It's a big moment of reflection when it comes to new family boundaries that are being created, and that can be a scary feeling at times. The bride [or groom] is also coming in with their own traditions and values; it creates this dance of fear and defensiveness that can get really ugly."
Image credits: Quang Anh Ha Nguyen / Pexels (not the actual photo)
But upstaging the bride on her big day should be avoided
Traditionally, white is reserved for the bride, and anyone who wears the same shade is considered to be stealing her attention.
And yes, the rule also applies to cream, ivory, and beige. "It's all white!" says stylist Micaela Erlanger, who works with the likes of Lupita Nyong'o and Diane Kruger.
Certain colors can look white in the photos, too. So, it's better to avoid pale pink, butter yellow, or something similar that's a tad too close.
One way couples can avoid misunderstandings is by letting their guests know in advance what they have in mind. "Now more than ever, this idea of giving your guests recommendations or suggestions, along with the dress code, has become more common practice," Erlanger says. "I'm frequently asked to provide mood boards that are linked to clients' wedding websites with suggestions for what guests should wear. Part of the invitation design, and part of the idea of curating your event, also includes really fun attire recommendations. By no means is it an instruction manual, but it points guests in the right direction."
However, something tells me that even if the Redditor told her mother-in-law exactly what to wear, she still would have arrived in something else.
The woman's story has received a lot of attention online
