There are quite a lot of rules when it comes to weddings and probably the most important one is to never wear the same color dress as the bride, which traditionally is white. It is her celebration and she is the center of attention who has to stand out visually.
But mother-in-laws often don’t care and this woman now has a bunch of photos that she feels are ruined because her husband’s mom dressed up in a white dress very similar to her own, looking like a bride herself.
Jasmine Hopper got married a while ago but she still feels embarrassed because her mother-in-law wore a white dress to her wedding
Image credits: jazzyhop555
"The day that we went wedding dress shopping, my mother-in-law was there with us"
"I’d picked out a mermaid style, lace, sequin style gown. I’ve lost 100 pounds, I had weight loss surgery 5 years ago and so when I tell you I wanted to look beautiful on my wedding day, I mean I wanted to be gorgeous. I wanted to wear something that I could feel sexy in.
I was doing my own hair and makeup on our wedding day. I was sitting in front of the mirror for hours. No one could distract me. There was not one single thing, even wearing a white dress to my wedding, that could have distracted me, really.
So when she was wearing that dress and she showed up in practically the same dress I was wearing, I mean, I really had no reaction other than, 'Huh, maybe she shouldn’t be wearing that, that’s weird.'"
Image credits: jazzyhop555
"I remember my sister saying 'Do you want me to go and spill some wine on her?'"
"And I was like 'I don’t want to cause any problems right now.' This is my day. I’ve been looking forward to this for so freaking long and I wanna feel good. And I wanna look good. And you know what? F**k her, that was what I was kinda thinking."
Image credits: jazzyhop555
"Everyone thinks that they know how they’re gonna react when put into a certain situation, right?"
"Everyone thinks they know. It didn’t hit me until the next day what happened. It wasn’t until the next day until I was looking through the wedding pictures that were sent to me, going 'Why the f**k is she wearing the same dress as me?'
I started getting mad and madder and f*****g furious. I showed my husband and I was like, “What is this? Why is she wearing that?” And he’s like “Oh, I don’t know.” And you know, you can’t blame it on him. He wasn’t really paying attention to it either. It was like both of us were both oblivious to everything that was going on."
Image credits: jazzyhop555
"About 9 months after our wedding we told her why we were so upset with her, why we were not talking to her, why Anthony was not answering phone calls"
"And she sent me a very nice text and apologized. I really thought she meant it. I was like, okay, I think we can move on from this. I was 20 weeks pregnant at the time with our first baby. Her first grandchild. I mean, I’m not a f*****g crazy person–I wanted things to be okay for the sake of her being my child’s grandmother. Apology accepted, yeah, let’s move on."
Image credits: jazzyhop555
"Not 2 months later she sends out a Christmas card with all of us standing next to each other on my wedding"
"So we’re both in our wedding dresses. I’m like, what the f**k are you apologizing for if you’re just gonna turn around and send out these Christmas cards? Are you kidding me? This is what I was upset about!"
Image credits: elreyblanco (not the actual photo)
People were pretty confused why the bride didn’t react immediately by throwing out her mother-in-law or why her husband didn’t say anything. And why wasn't there a guest who “accidentally” spilled red wine over that dress?
As mentioned before, she didn’t want to cause a scene, but also, in a later video, she explained that she and her husband were so focused on each other and having such a good time that the dress didn't faze them.
Jasmine said that it flew over her head and even she now realizes her reaction was weird. But she just has a different trauma response than everyone else. She explained that her whole life, when people would make fun of her and bully her, her reaction was like a deer’s in front of a car with bright headlights.
The woman never expected to be insulted because she never provoked it, so she didn’t have a response ready. Her wedding was an occasion she was least expecting to be humiliated and when she was, her brain reacted by blocking out the trigger to deal with it later.
This is why Jasmine only realized how bad the situation actually was when she was looking through the photos of her mother-in-law and her standing beside each other. Her husband was as upset as her and actually didn’t talk to his mom for 9 months after. And when they did, she tried to gaslight them by saying that it was a cream dress with gold sequins despite the pictures clearly showing the same style dress and color dress as the bride’s.
You may think that this is not a big deal and wedding guests should be allowed to wear whatever they want. In part, it is true that someone else’s outfit doesn’t affect you in any way unless you allow it to get into your head.
But it’s hard to not react to it because of the hidden meaning behind a guest wearing white. The bride is supposed to be the center of attention and stand out from all the guests, so when someone else is wearing white, they are drawing attention to themselves. Even if it’s not a gown, the white attracts the eye, being such a rare sight in the wedding crowd.
The Pink Bride says that it doesn’t make you the crazy one for being upset that someone wearing white bothers you. Also, “since most people are quite familiar with etiquette regarding this matter, your already-frazzled bridal brain is left pondering on whether your future in-law is doing this to hurt your feelings, when she may genuinely just not know what she should wear.”
According to The Pink Bride, proper etiquette says that the color white is reserved for the bride: “it is assumed that all other ladies other than the bride in attendance at the wedding should refrain from wearing white (or even shades of it) to avoid seeming to rival the bride for focus. Naturally, this restriction doesn’t apply to men, who will likely wear white collared shirts with a colored jacket and tie to your wedding.”
Madeline Gardner, a wedding dress designer, says that “When you're a guest at a wedding, the most important thing to keep in mind is not to upstage or upset the bride."
If it happens that someone does show up wearing white, The Knot suggests to rise above it and adds that it’s “nearly impossible to take the spotlight away from the happy couple anyway.”
Do you think Jasmine’s mother-in-law chose her dress to annoy the bride seeing that it was so similar in style and it was white? Do you think the rule of not wearing white to a wedding is stupid and brides are too self-centered? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
Judging from the comments, Jasmine's situation is familiar to a lot of people, but they applauded the woman for being so collected on the big day
