Every person has different struggles with parenting, and folks who have children with disabilities might find it tougher to manage. In such cases, they may find it hard to relate to parents with able-bodied kids, but this doesn’t mean that they should wish their trials on anyone else.
This is what a couple faced when the man’s mom hoped that their son would have severe autism so that her child could have a playmate, and they’d finally know how she feels. This angered them, and they couldn’t believe she’d even say such a thing.
More info: Reddit
Grandparents are supposed to want only the best for their children and grandkids, but certain toxic folks might wish for the exact opposite
Image credits: prostooleh / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The poster explained that her insufferable mother-in-law's last child was a nonverbal autistic 8-year-old who she neglected most of the time and kept complaining about
Image credits: Freepik / Magnific (not the actual photo)
One day, the older woman said that she hoped that the couple’s 1-year-old son would also be nonverbal autistic to give her kid company, and so that they’d understand her plight
Image credits: Stockbusters / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The couple were so shocked by the grandma’s rude hope that they decided not to let her meet their child, and also wondered if they should call Child Protective Services on her
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The couple didn’t know if Child Protective Services would find any issue with the older woman’s parenting, and were worried that if she found out, she would ruin their lives
The poster shared that her mother-in-law’s name was Karen and that she really lived up to it because of all the entitled, horrible things she kept doing. One of which was how she neglected her 8-year-old nonverbal autistic son by letting him use a tablet the whole day, and expecting her kids to entertain him when they came over.
She also liked to complain about how hard her life was and how parenting a child with disabilities left her stressed out all the time. According to research, some caregivers of kids with autism might experience a greater level of distress due to their children’s low level of responsiveness, lack of social relatedness, and reduced reciprocity.
This is probably what the older woman felt since she was in her fifties and still looking after a small child. That’s why when her son called one day to talk about his 1-year-old kid, she hoped that her grandson would also be nonverbal autistic so that he could get along with her child. She also felt that it would be a great situation as the couple could then understand her struggles.
Even though it might seem absurd for someone to hope that others suffer just as they did, professionals explain that this might be a way for them to lighten their own burden. When they see other people grappling with the same problems, it might make them feel a bit better, and like they aren’t completely alone.
Image credits: katemangostar / Magnific (not the actual photo)
When the poster and her husband heard his mom’s horrible hope for their child, they immediately decided not to take the little one over to meet her. They also couldn’t believe that she’d act like such a martyr despite ignoring her 8-year-old son and pawning him off on other people.
This shocking situation, along with all the other experiences the lady had with her mother-in-law, made her wonder whether she should finally call Child Protective Services on the older woman. She didn’t know if it would be the right decision to make, since none of the other relatives might support their claim.
According to family therapists, a toxic loved one’s behavior can end up making you feel miserable and uncomfortable. If they are unwilling to change their behavior even after being confronted with consequences, it might help to limit your time with them or, if needed, cut them off.
The poster and her husband wanted to take action against his mom, but they were also very scared of her because they knew she could make their life a living hell. She also had a history of harming people, so they didn’t know if it would be safe to make a formal complaint against her, in case she got to know they were behind it.
What do you think is the best way to deal with this kind of monster-in-law? We’d love to hear your thoughts on the situation and any opinion you might have about what the couple can do.
People were appalled by the older woman’s behavior and urged the poster to report her to the authorities as soon as possible
