Infidelity can ruin marriages and cause a lot of pain to the other partner. This trauma can stay with a person for a while, even if they choose to forgive their cheating spouse. Unfortunately, the pain can also affect their children if it’s not dealt with properly.
This is what happened when a dad suddenly blew up at his 18-year-old son about him being a product of an affair, and refused to pay for his college. The teen had no idea that his mom had cheated, so his family life and dreams were all crushed in a matter of seconds.
When kids are punished for their parents’ wrongdoing, it can cause a lot of pain and confusion
Image credits: seventyfour / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that his dad had covered the cost of college for his two siblings, which is why he expected the same to be done for him
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When the teen asked his dad about his college being covered, the older man got mad and said he’d have to fend for himself, as he was the product of his mom’s affair
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster felt confused and abandoned because he suddenly had no means to pay for college and didn’t know if he’d be accepted at home anymore
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Apart from the teen’s intense situation, his family was also dealing with the recent loss of his grandpa, and everyone was trying to support each other
Image credits: throwawaynocollege01
Netizens were shocked that nobody seemed to have the poster’s back, and they urged him to talk to his siblings
Image credits: undefinedstock / Freepik (not the actual photo)
In an update post, the teen stated that his dad hadn’t actually meant to blow up at him—he only did it because of a fight he had with his wife
Image credits: prostock-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Even though his father had been angry, he was still going to pay for the poster’s college, and if he didn’t, the rest of the family was willing to help
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The teen’s mom also opened up to him about her infidelity and revealed that after it, she and her husband had to work on things together to heal
Image credits: throwawaynocollege01
The entire situation also taught the teen about being independent and fending for himself, so he decided he would eventually get a job
From a young age, the teen had seen how his dad had covered the cost of his brother and sister’s college as well as their expenses. He expected his father to do the same for him, which is why he applied to the same place as his siblings. Unfortunately, when he asked his dad about covering the cost of his studies, the man got mad and let him know that it wouldn’t happen.
In situations like this, where parents refuse to help their kids pay for their college education, it’s important for the youth to take matters into their own hands. They should ask their guardians or parents to fill out the monetary aid forms, but if this is also not possible, they need to approach the financial aid administrator at the college for advice.
The OP’s dad told him that he was unwilling to cover his university costs because he was his mom’s affair child. This information obviously came as a shock to the poster, who had no inkling that his mother had even cheated on his father. He was also worried about not having any support for his education and felt abandoned by his dad in that respect.
If a child is born out of infidelity and their parents keep this from them, it can lead to a huge conflict later on in life. Experts state that this information should be introduced to the kids when they are younger so that they can understand their family background better and slowly accept it.
Image credits: natashagill9800 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
After a lot of turmoil, the poster spoke to his parents about the issue, and they reassured him that his college would be paid for. His dad explained that the reason he had suddenly exposed his wife’s affair was that they had gotten into a fight, and his old feelings resurfaced, which had been tough to deal with.
According to psychologists, the emotional impact of infidelity can be very painful to deal with, and it might even destroy the foundation of trust in the relationship. These feelings take a long time to work through and can even resurface, which is why couples need to always have an open dialogue of communication.
The OP realized how hurt his dad had been and understood that he wasn’t being malicious when he exposed the affair. It did, however, make the poster question his roots, but he eventually decided that he didn’t want to find out about his biological dad, as he already had a loving family.
It might take a while for the poster’s family to process the information about the mom’s affair, and it might also be tough for her to relive those memories, but it helps that the whole truth is finally out in the open. Now, the OP and his family can heal from the past and work on better, more honest communication for the future.
What are your thoughts on this story, and what advice would you give to the OP about this bombshell information he received? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
Folks told the poster not to go digging into his ancestry and to value the family he already had, and many encouraged him to become more independent
