Being a mum is one of the hardest jobs. There aren't any working hours or holidays and everybody around you tries to teach you how to do a ‘better job’. Well, according to them. Everybody knows a better way until they are put in the same position.
However, it is clear that every mom knows best how to raise their own baby. They know what the baby needs or wants, what values to teach them, what and how and when to feed them and where and when to put them to sleep. So other moms’ opinions and instructions will rarely (to be honest, almost never) be more suitable than those of the baby's mother.
More info: Reddit
If you are shaming other moms about how they feed their kids, at least show that your way is much better
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
Author shares that her mom, due to her health condition, couldn’t breastfeed her babies and was formula feeding them
Image credits: u/KimonoJack
Image credits: Caleb Oquendo (not the actual photo)
She got shamed online because of that and was told, especially by a local mom, that her kids would resent her because of that
Image credits: u/KimonoJack
Image credits: Gustavo Fring (not the actual photo)
However, the kids grew up the healthiest people, very affectionate and attached to mum
Image credits: u/KimonoJack
As revenge on the online bully, the author's mom proved that her kids are happy and loving through actions
A few days ago, one Reddit user shared a story of her mom, who was being shamed online for not being able to breastfeed and told that her kids would get sick and resent her. As petty revenge, she showed an online bully the opposite. The post received a lot of love and attention and in just 2 days it collected more than 4.6K upvotes and almost 400 comments.
The OP started by explaining that her mom could not physically breastfeed due to a medical condition. In the early 2000s, she joined a moms' group online. However as soon as she did, she was insulted due to the fact that she was formula feeding her kid. The main bully was a local mom who told the woman that her kid would get sick and die and also would resent her as they didn’t have that ‘bonding time’.
Moreover, after a few years, her kid started preschool and she was in the same class as the bully’s kid. The OP adds that her sister has always been the healthiest person she knows, very affectionate and attached to mum. One day she found out that her kid was being bullied by the same bully’s kid. She smartly adjusted her pick-up times to come pick her daughter up at the same time as the same local entitled mother.
And the difference was undeniable - OP's sister came running happily to her mom while the bully's kid was crying as he wanted to play with the toys. And to say that the online bully had a sour look on her face is an understatement. So as the author says - “Sometimes the best petty revenge is simply to be more successful.”
The community members loved OP’s mom and discussed that breastfeeding isn’t the most necessary thing for a kid to be healthy and loving. “As a doctor- fed is best. Your mom fed you, loves you, and nurtured you- exactly what a baby/child needs,” one user wrote. “I could produce milk and did for the first (almost) two weeks and then chose not to breastfeed. My kids are all smart and healthy!” another added.
Image credits: Junior REIS (not the actual photo)
Moreover, we contacted Vicki Broadbent, Bored Panda’s parenting expert, and she kindly agreed to share her insights regarding online advice, the emotional impact of criticism and bullying online on mothers and how society can better support and normalize alternative feeding methods.
To begin with, Vicki shares that it’s important to tread with caution when you are seeking advice online. “People have their own opinions and prejudices so I would advise you to speak to professionals over seeking counsel on forums, particularly when your worries are related to medical issues or concerns,” she adds. And while it’s possible to find support online, people can become judgmental quickly.
Moreover, Vicki emphasizes that “trolls can affect mothers deeply, particularly as parents are already vulnerable to feeling more sensitive due to the maternal load we all bear.” The pressures that parents face today feels far heavier than the previous generation and there is always someone willing to offer their opinion.
“You must do what is best for you as a parent and ignore what I call 'backseat parents' online and in real life, particularly those who don't know you, your situation or your baby well,” she highlights. “I have a trusted circle of mum friends I can speak to if I'm concerned who are non judgmental and supportive. Quality over quantity is best and actually meeting other parents in real life at playgroups is a great way to seek support,” Vicki states.
And finally, while scientifically, the benefits of breastfeeding are known, mothers must be supported if they choose whether they want to breastfeed or not. “Of course, many women are unable to nurse also, and mothers must be respected by frontline medical professionals as well as society as a whole, whether they breastfeed or not.”
The parenting expert highlights that by offering education and support regarding breastfeeding, mothers will feel better able to choose equally if they feel formula is best for them, and they must be equally supported too.
And of course, don’t forget to check out Vicki’s blog Honestmum.com and her Instagram page!
What do you guys think about this story? Have you/your parents been in a similar situation? Share in the comments below!
Redditors supported this mom and shared their similar situations
