When a child’s parents separate, it can be a painful experience for them to navigate how their new life looks. This is especially true if one or both guardians start dating again, and their new partners don’t get along with their kid or go out of their way to cause problems.
This is what happened when a woman’s new boyfriend started acting like he was the man of the house and cleverly tried to paint her son as the villain in their lives. Unfortunately for the boy, his mom didn’t take his side until one slip-up by her partner revealed that he had a cunning plan all along.
Some parents might be so caught up in the joy of their new relationship that they might forget to prioritize the needs of their kids
The poster shared that when his mother began dating a new man, that guy lived with her rent-free, acted like it was his home, and demanded her son listen to everything he said
One day, when the poster came back home at 3a.m, his mom’s boyfriend got mad and threatened to kick him out for 2 days
The poster called his mother up and revealed what her boyfriend was saying, which finally made her realize that he was overruling her parenting decisions and acting like her ex
Image credits: hicctl
The woman finally laid down the law with her toxic boyfriend, and forced him to leave her place by threatening to call the cops on him
Nobody tends to realize they’re in a terrible relationship until things get really bad, after which they might have already developed certain trauma bonds. Experts also share that such experiences might make it harder for people to leave toxic partners, or know how to identify such red flags in future relationships.
That’s why, when it comes to dating again after surviving a terrible partnership, Charlotte Jarvis, therapist and survivor, says people shouldn't rush into the process. First, they need to work on the trauma they might have experienced and learn how to identify toxic behavior like gaslighting or manipulation.
It can be hard to recognize red flags in the people we love because we often don’t want to believe they are capable of something like that. According to domestic violence professionals, a controlling person might slowly chip away at their partner’s self-esteem and self-worth, which also makes it easy to manipulate and control them.
It’s therefore important for people to watch for this behavior and call it out when it happens. Figs O'Sullivan explains that the best way to do this is by observing how often your partner twists the truth, tries to get their own way, or disregards your boundaries. Rather than justifying these actions, treat them as an insight into your loved one’s real personality.
It’s possible that people might put up with a lot of bad behavior from their partner even at the cost of their own sanity. Unfortunately, this toxicity could also end up affecting any children they may have. That is why professionals advise checking how a new partner interacts with your kids and listening to the little ones if they share anything concerning about your loved one.
According to Abby Medcalf, it might be tough for parents to listen to what their kids have to say about their new relationships, but it’s important to do so because “maybe they’re even seeing something you don’t.” She explains that love can be blinding you to the truth, and really paying attention to what your little ones are saying can reveal what’s really happening.
It’s one thing if the kid doesn’t like the parent’s new beau, but it’s a completely different thing when the partner doesn’t like the child. The folks at Good Therapy explain that if a loved one can’t get along with your little one, it’s important to figure out why and whether they are even trying to build bridges.
How someone behaves with your family, especially your kids, is a pretty big indicator of whether they’re a good fit for you or not. It’s definitely not easy to end things with someone you like, but if these red flags keep coming up, maybe it’s time to look for something different. Luckily, the poster’s mom eventually saw sense and took her son’s side rather than believing what her cunning boyfriend wanted her to.
What do you think is the best way people can figure out if their partner is toxic? We’d love to hear your perspective and opinions in the comments below.
People were glad that the poster’s mom eventually saw reason, but they urged the boy to change his home’s locks just to be safe
